Cry of the Heart: Guilt (Psalm 32)

Here we are: week five of our six-week series on the Psalms. Just one more week to go. You’ve almost made it! Today’s “cry of the heart” is guilt. Guilt and regret. And I admit, it’s not the most cheery of topics, and is probably the one that I myself have looked forward to the least. Who really wants to talk about guilt, or listen to a sermon about guilt? But there is no denying that guilt is on the mind of the psalmists. We already heard from Psalm 32, from the psalmist who groans all day long, and whose energy is sapped away, all because of his guilt. In Psalm 38, the psalmist says, “my guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” This reminded me of a book I read recently in which the author talks about guilt, and says it is as if one is carrying around a backpack loaded with rocks. Each rock represents a sin. The more we sin, the greater our guilt, and the heavier our burden is. But here’s the thing: God doesn’t want us to feel guilty. At least, not for long. And God certainly doesn’t want to punish us. What God wants to do is remove from us the burden we carry. In Psalm 103 it says, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” This phrase actually appears so many times in the Hebrew Bible that it’s almost a mantra. God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. And God’s desire is to save you from sin by lifting from you the burden of guilt and regret. A story I heard told of a woman who had dreams of talking to Jesus. People would ask her questions, and then, in her dreams, she would relay those questions to Jesus, and then bring back the answer to those who asked. Well, her priest was skeptical. So he told her that, in seminary, he did something very wrong, and that it still bothered him. He told her to ask Jesus about it – he didn’t tell her what it was – but he told her to ask Jesus about it, and then to tell him what his sin was and what Jesus’s response was. In this way he hoped to find out if she was for real. Days went by. Then weeks. Finally the priest said to her, “Did you ask Jesus?” She replied, “Yes. The thing is, when I asked Jesus about it, he said, ‘Funny, I don’t remember it any more.’” God doesn’t want to hold our sins over us. God wants to forgive us and help us move on. The fact is that we all make mistakes. We all hurt other people, intentionally and unintentionally. And it is guilt, and regret, that prod us toward confessing, apologizing, and doing what we can to make the relationship right again. So if you are feeling guilt, it’s good to ask yourself three questions. 1. Have I sincerely apologized for the hurt I’ve caused? 2. Have I done everything possible to undo the suffering? 3. Have I sought reconciliation and forgiveness? If you can honestly answer, “Yes, I’ve done everything possible,” then it’s time to move on and leave your guilt behind. But if there is still a confession to be made, or an apology; and if there is anything you can still do to ease the suffering of the one you hurt and move toward understanding and reconciliation, then your guilt may yet have a useful purpose. Maybe you still need to take responsibility for the results of your action. Certainly, this deserves some time spent in prayer on your part. But what if it’s not possible to apologize? What if the person you hurt is no longer alive? Well, we know that no one ever really dies, that those who have passed on form a great, unseen cloud of witnesses that surrounds us. So it is still possible to apologize, and to spend some time in thought and in prayer, intentionally committing yourself to speak and act with greater kindness from this moment on. Your guilt is, in a way, a terrible punishment. But remember: God doesn’t want to punish you. What God wants to do is remove from you the burden we carry. It was two or three months ago that I decided that one of these sermons on the psalms needed to be about guilt. The psalmists talk so much about guilt and sin and being cleansed and being given a clean heart. But it was only in the past week or so that I came across two timely news articles that are really forcing me to think about sin and guilt and our need to recognize sin, confess it, and commit to better living so that the suffering we cause is lessened. The first news article comes from the CNN website, and has to do with Halloween. In Damascus, Oregon, in 2001, Julie Keith went to her local Kmart and purchased a $29 “Totally Ghoul” toy set, complete with fake decorative tombstones very similar to the ones my own sons bought and used to decorate our front lawn this past Halloween. However, when Julie Keith opened her package, a handwritten letter fell out. In broken English mixed with Chinese, the author cried for help: "If you occasionally buy this product, please kindly resend this letter to the World Human Right Organization. Thousands people here... will thank and remember you forever." According to the CNN report, the letter went on to detail grueling hours, verbal and physical abuses as well as torture that inmates making the products had to endure -- all in a place called Masanjia Labor Camp in China. Skeptical at first, Julie Keith did some research, and realized that the letter might genuinely be what it appeared to be. Fast-forward in time. CNN eventually heard of this story, and after doing its own investigating, found the man who is believed to have written that note. He had originally been sent to the labor camp for practicing his faith. He had been released from the labor camp but was afraid of being sent back, so his identity has been kept secret. But he told CNN of the systematic use of beatings, sleep deprivation and torture, especially targeting those like him who refused to repent. Some gruesome details were too specific to him to be reported; doing so could lead someone to identify him. This story dug itself even deeper into my conscience because of an incident that happened last weekend. I had taken Tristan and his friend Ryan to the beach, where we met up with other friends and family members. A total of 8 children of various ages played in the sand and surf… And at one point, an old baseball cap washed onshore. One of the kids grabbed it and brought it up to where the adults were sitting under the shade canopy, laughed and said: “Look! A hat, it floated here all the way from China!” I responded, “So what? My hat came from China, too.” I didn’t know that for sure, but I took it off, looked at the label and saw that – sure enough – it had come from China. My brother-in-law, sitting to my left, did the same with his hat, and discovered that it also came from China. And then my friend David, sitting to my right, did the same with his hat. China? “Nope,” he said. “Sri Lanka.” When we hear about what’s going on in places all around the world, we listen in a detached sort of way. But we are not detached. We are directly connected. And we are responsible for the welfare of all people, of all humanity. We are responsible. After all, they made our hats! They made our Halloween decorations! And so, in a very real way, we are responsible for them and their welfare. And if their human rights are being abused as they make the goods we purchase and enjoy, don’t we bear some responsibility for that? In order for change to occur, I think consumers of third world products first need to experience a little guilt. From that guilt will come repentance… Perhaps people will think twice about their Christmas spending. After all, how is Jesus honored when we purchase gifts in celebration of his birth, gifts which are made by sweatshop labor by individuals who endure torture and other human rights violations? In this case, a little more guilt might not be such a bad thing… The second article I read was written by Susan Brooks Thistlethwaite, who is an ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ and a professor of theology at Chicago Theological Seminary. In the article, this highly respected theologian focuses on the link between the typhoon that hit the Philippines last week and other superstorms of recent years, and human-accelerated climate change. These “superstorms” [she writes] aren’t an “act of God,” but an act of willful disregard for God’s creation, and the neglect of the human responsibility to care for the planet. There is moral evil to be seen in these superstorms… on two levels. First, there is the moral evil of continuing to pump fossil fuels into the atmosphere, producing global warming. Second, however, is the moral evil of climate change denial, that is, those who would continue to deny, in the face of mounting evidence, that violent climate change is upon us and it is accelerating… But as some argue politically, the evidence continues to mount, and more people continue to suffer and even die from extreme climate events. According to the Philippine government, the area’s typhoons have been getting stronger… There is a stronger and stronger case to be made that these “superstorms” and “supertyphoon” phenomena are products of abrupt climate changes due to global warming produced by the continued (and increasing) burning of fossil fuels. As the Environmental Protection Agency notes, “The primary human activity affecting the amount and rate of climate change is greenhouse gas emissions from the burning of fossil fuels.” These “superstorms” then are likely the result of human activities that have contributed to the warming of the oceans… [Thisthlethwaite concludes:] There is a theological prescription, in a classical sense, for what we must do: confession, repentance and change. Let me conclude by saying what I’ve said before: guilt is not something we should ignore or fight against. Rather, we should embrace it and care for it, and learn from it. Guilt can be a great teacher. It can motivate us to seek reconciliation. It can motivate us to right the wrongs we have committed. Hopefully there will come a time when guilt has taught us all it can. A time when we have learned from guilt, and have made our lives better as a result. Then we can say to guilt: farewell, dear friend. It is now time for you to go. You have taught me well. You have spurred me to change. Now I am free. Now I am at peace. Thank you.