Swirling Thoughts
Good morning, Church! I’m Danny Bradfield, I use he/him pronouns, and I’m pastor of Bixby Knolls Christian Church. I celebrate and am grateful for your presence here today, whether you are joining us in-person or online.
The other day I woke up, did some yoga stretches, and settled into savasana. That’s a word I didn’t even know six months ago, but it’s the final pose in yoga, a resting pose, when your body and your mind are completely calm and still.
During savasana you are supposed to clear your mind of all distractions, but that doesn’t always happen. On this occasion, instead of calm and stillness, there was this rush of thoughts all swirling around in my head, like the many fragments of dead leaves that get caught in the swirling vortex of a mountain stream…
And most of these thoughts all revolved around the idea that I’m not good enough.
I didn’t pick up that piece of trash I saw on my hike, even though I know it’s the right thing to do.
I didn’t reply to that email that I received over a week ago, asking me a question.
I haven’t cleaned out the refrigerator and wiped down the shelves - even though I’ve been saying for weeks I need to.
I didn’t work hard enough during the pandemic to find ways to keep our church members connected.
I haven’t prayed as often as I want to, or as often as I feel I should.
And all these thoughts - and so many others as well - that had been swirling around in the back of my mind came to the front of my mind. So many regrets. So many feelings of inadequacy, of unworthiness - some that I’ve held onto for months or even years.
I have a feeling that I’m not the only one who struggles to let go of these thoughts from the past. We hold on to these memories, these regrets, and we play them over and over in our minds. “Oh, I should have done this, I should have done that; why did I say that? Why did I speak when I should have stayed silent?” Or, “Why did I stay silent when I should have said something?”
And we begin to feel unworthy of the trust placed in us. We begin to feel unworthy of the responsibilities we’ve been given. We begin to feel unworthy of the love that has been shown to us.
Good and Worthy of Love
I stayed on my yoga mat for a few more minutes. I took a few more breaths. I tried to make space within me for God’s Spirit.
It’s hard to make space within your being for God’s Spirit when you don’t feel worthy enough to welcome God’s Spirit or to even be in the Spirit’s presence; but in recent days I had been pondering how unfortunate it is that so many people feel so unworthy - unworthy of love, unworthy of life - and I had been formulating some thoughts about worthiness that I hoped would one day become a sermon.
So I decided to test out that sermon on myself, as I laid there on my yoga mat.
I focused on these thoughts, and directed them back at me:
“You are worthy. You are worthy of love. You are good. Your mind is good. Your whole being is good…
“The problem is that you are setting your mind on perfection. Perfection is unrealistic. Perfection is unattainable. Perfection is a trap! Stop dwelling on perfection.
“Dwell on goodness. You are good; and you are worthy of love.”
Intellectually, I know all this is true, and I believe it all. I know that the Bible talks about how wonderfully made we are, how each person is made in the image of God, how each person is good and worthy of love in God’s eyes.
I just needed my mind to convince my heart of this.
In that moment, I felt a small space within me start to open up. Not a huge space; just a small opening. That swirl of negative thoughts didn’t completely disappear; but the thoughts did spread apart just a little, and create a small space. A space for God’s Spirit of love and goodness to enter in.
So that was pretty cool…
And I even started to believe that, maybe, all these failures and shortcomings of mine don’t actually define who I am… that, maybe, with a little more effort, I could learn to let go of these negative thoughts…
Neither Death Nor Life Nor Anything Else
I got up from my yoga mat and moved to my desk. It was time to get to work; time to start working on this week’s sermon. And the first thing I needed to do was read through the Covenant curriculum on the Disciples website, and watch the video (which, this week, is very short), to start preparing sermon number four in this five-part sermon series on Covenant.
The curriculum presented this scripture, the one we already heard. It’s short, so I’m going to read it again:
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
It is a familiar scripture to me. In fact, it’s one of my very favorite passages of scripture. It’s also the focus scripture for the Disciples Virtual Gathering taking place on August 7, so we’ll get to hear it again then...
...Which is great, because, to be honest, I can’t get enough of this scripture. It’s powerful. It’s truth that I need. And every time I hear it, it takes on new meaning and new significance...
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor good deeds undone, nor emails not sent, nor dirty refrigerator shelves, nor the challenges of ministry during a pandemic, nor the failure to pray, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
The Covenant curriculum on the Disciples website invites participants to hear this scripture, and choose one word or one phrase that stands out; one word or phrase that speaks to you.
So let’s hear this scripture again, and this time, do what the curriculum suggests: choose one word or phrase that stands out to you.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
What word or phrase stands out to you? Take twenty seconds and turn to someone and tell them the word or phrase from this passage that speaks to you this day...
I am reminded, once again, that the word religion comes from a Latin phrase that means to “re-connect.” Re-ligio. Re-ligare. Re-connect.
The covenant of love that God has established with us keeps us connected to God and to God’s love. Every time we practice religion, we re-connect.
However, just as no person is perfect, no church is, either. And sometimes, churches actually work to dis-connect people from God; to separate people from God. Church leaders proclaim that your sin separates you from God, separates you from God’s love - and they define sin as not just the things you’ve done, but who you are - your very essence, your very identity.
As if a person can be a sinner simply by being who God created them to be... It doesn’t even make sense!
And even if it did make sense… Nothing in all of creation can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Sometimes church leaders will say you’re not welcome at the Lord’s Table; you’re not welcome to stand in the presence of God; you’re not welcome to receive the elements and let Christ dwell within you.
Every couple of years it makes the news that some group of church leaders is trying to deny communion to people because of one reason or another. That issue is in the news again this summer. This time, it’s a group of Catholic bishops debating who they should or should not allow at the Lord’s Table; who they should or should not allow to come into Christ’s presence; who they should or should not keep separated from Christ and Christ’s love.
As if it were up to them.
But nothing in all of creation can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor church leaders who fail to comprehend what is the breadth and length and height and depth of Christ’s love. [Ephesians 3:18]
How do we live in that love? How do we live out that love?
How do we allow that love to manifest itself in our lives as individuals? How do we allow that love to manifest itself in our life as a church?
How do we allow the incredible power of God’s love to dwell not only in our minds, but also in our hearts?
How do we let God’s steadfast love guide not only our thoughts, but also our actions?
Preamble to the Design
Questions like these are what helped shape the covenant we have with each other and with other Disciples of Christ congregations. Questions like these, I think, are what helped form the Preamble to the Design, the document that lays out in words who we are and what holds us together.
Let’s read together the Preamble, like we did several weeks ago. Notice how this document works to connect us and hold us together, and how it reflects the love of God that connects us to God and holds us close to God; and see if there is one word or phrase here that stands out to you or speaks to you in a special way, especially in light of today’s focus on the love of God from which nothing can separate us...
As members of the Christian Church, We confess that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, and proclaim him Lord and Savior of the world.
In Christ’s name and by his grace we accept our mission of witness and service to all people.
We rejoice in God, maker of heaven and earth, and in God’s covenant of love which binds us to God and to one another.
Through baptism into Christ we enter into newness of life and are made one with the whole people of God.
In the communion of the Holy Spirit we are joined together in discipleship and in obedience to Christ.
At the Table of the Lord we celebrate with thanksgiving the saving acts and presence of Christ.
Within the universal church we receive the gift of ministry and the light of scripture.
In the bonds of Christian faith we yield ourselves to God that we may serve the One whose kingdom has no end.
Blessing, glory, and honor be to God forever. Amen.
