Reconciled & Restored (John 21)

 I’ve gotta tell you a story about our new dog, Marbles. The other day, at dinnertime, we placed Marbles’ food in his dog bowl, then decided to take our own dinners outside and eat in the backyard. 

Well, Marbles didn’t like the idea of eating by himself. So he grabbed his bowl with his mouth, carried his bowl all the way through the house without spilling any of the food, and brought his food bowl to the backyard so he could eat with us. 

Because, what’s a good meal if you can’t enjoy it with someone you love?

So, he’s adjusting to his new home, and we’re adjusting to our new dog, and things seem to be going well. We’re trying not to introduce too many new things into Marbles’ life all at once, because everything is new right now, and we want Marbles to feel safe in his new home.

When I told a friend that we got a new dog, he told me about a reality show with a dog trainer who helps dog owners who are having trouble managing their dogs. I watched some episodes; they feature worst-case scenarios, of dogs misbehaving or acting aggressively, or of owners misbehaving or acting aggressively. 

One thing I’ve learned from these shows is that bad or aggressive behavior in dogs is often caused by dogs having too much anxiety, and not knowing how to calm themselves down.

Marbles seems quite happy to be with us, so I think we’re doing a good job helping him manage his anxiety and keep calm.

Now I’m left wondering: is all this also true for people? Does too much anxiety make people misbehave or act aggressively?

And I thought about the events of these past two years. These are very anxious times - we have a lot of anxiety! The pandemic. Racial tension. Economic uncertainty. And so many other issues, making people anxious.

And I thought about the state of public discourse. The downright meanness and lack of civility of people communicating with one another through social media, or in person. I thought about the political divisions in this country, and the culture wars, and the vicious attacks people inflict on one another.

And I realized: Yes. People are anxious; and yes, that anxiety is causing people to misbehave more and act more aggressively toward one another.

Even the simple task of wearing a mask in crowded places has become contentious and politically divisive.  People have gotten into physical fights in stores and restaurants and on airplanes, just because they were asked to wear a mask. 

This week, on KPCC, they were talking about parents who misbehave and sometimes act violently at youth sports events, physically assaulting referees and umpires; and how that’s becoming more common.

Then there’s the now-infamous moment when Will Smith walked up onstage and slapped Chris Rock during the Academy Awards. It was such an over-reaction; doesn’t it make you wonder about what’s going on in Will Smith’s life, what’s causing him anxiety?

We live in anxious times, stressful times, and that, I think, is part of the reason we’re seeing an increase in these types of behaviors.

Unfortunately, we’re not very good at calming one another’s anxiety. We’re not very good at defusing potentially volatile situations. We’re not very good at resolving conflicts.

It makes me wonder how Jesus did it. How did he work through the culture wars that raged in his own time? 

Believe it or not, they were just as intense as the culture wars we’re experiencing today. And anxiety was just as high.

And yet, somehow, Jesus brought together disciples who were on both sides of those culture wars! Among his disciples, he had pro-Roman collaborators, and anti-Roman zealots. The collaborators worked with Rome, and the zealots wanted to take Rome down by any means necessary.

Jesus brought them together.

The longest recorded prayer in scripture by Jesus is found in John 17. And there, Jesus prays that his disciples might be united, that they may all be one.

Knowing that they represented opposite sides in the culture wars, it makes sense that this was Jesus’ longest prayer! It would truly take a miracle for them to stay united!

In today’s scripture, the disciples encounter the risen Jesus. And again, I’m in awe of Jesus’ ability to unite his disciples, to manage their anxiety, to calm their fears, and help them achieve reconciliation and restoration.

First, think about how Jesus could have acted, how he could have greeted his disciples. He could have divided himself from them, and divided them from each other. He could have thrown accusations at them, of the terrible things they did, and all of it would be true.

“See, guys! I knew you would all desert me - I knew you would disappoint me! See, Peter! I knew you would deny me. That’s just the kind of guy you are!”

And the disciples would get defensive, and hurl accusations back. “Maybe you should have trained us better, Jesus! Or, maybe you could have used your power to avoid crucifixion entirely. Why would you put us through that?”

And the anxiety would grow, and the anger would grow, and the yelling and the division would grow, as we have seen happen so many times in our world and in history… Everyone would be acting out, acting aggressively, never coming to resolution, never reconciling, never moving forward, and never finding a way to calm the anxiety within.

That’s what usually happens when anxiety takes over.

But Jesus didn’t go that route.

When he saw his disciples, he called them over. He knew they were anxious, and sad, and upset, and shocked, and excited to see him.

He didn’t throw any accusations at them. His prayer, his desire, was still that they remain united, that they remain one, and he knew that, in order for that to happen, he needed to calm their anxiety.

 So he said: “Let’s eat. Let’s come together, let’s eat, and let’s enjoy one another’s fellowship. Like we’ve always done.”

And they all gathered around, and Jesus took the bread (as he always did), and he blessed it (as he always did), and he broke it (as he always did), and he gave it to them - acts of hospitality and friendship.

This meal, like all their other meals, wasn’t just about physical nourishment. It was a social act. You ate together as a sign of friendship; a sign of love. 

That’s something my dog Marbles would agree with!

Jesus invited them to dine with him, again, as he had done so many times before. In doing so, he let them know that nothing they had done would deny them a place at his table. 

And then, after they ate, Jesus looked at Peter, the one who had indeed denied even knowing Jesus, not once, but three times.

And, because he had denied Jesus, Peter’s anxiety was still high. He still didn’t feel totally reconciled to Jesus, and wondered how it would all come down. Now, he was about to find out.

Jesus said to Peter: “Do you love me?”

Peter replied, “Yes, Lord.”

Jesus said again: “Do you love me?”

Peter replied, “Yes, Lord.”

Jesus said a third time: “Do you love me?”

And now Peter knew that this was all in response to the three times Peter had denied Jesus. Three times Peter had denied Jesus; three times Jesus asked Peter if he loved him. And it hurt. It hurt to know how he had hurt Jesus by denying him.

But Jesus wasn’t trying to hurt Peter. Jesus was trying to heal Peter. 

It’s just that, for some things, you can’t be healed until you face the hurt you’ve caused. You can’t be reconciled and restored until you face the hurt you’ve caused…

Each time Peter answered, “Yes, Lord,” Jesus responded by saying, “Feed my sheep. Feed my lambs.”

“Yes, Lord; you know I love you!” 

“Feed my sheep.”

And that was it. 

That was it? 

Yes. Peter’s place was restored. He was reconciled to Jesus. 

Jesus did not hold a grudge, Jesus did not withhold forgiveness. The mission to which Jesus had called Peter, he extended to Peter again. “Feed my sheep.” 

And all that anxiety that Peter felt melted away. 

And I am in awe.

And I realize that following Jesus means standing for what is right, engaging in the struggle for justice, and confronting those who oppress…

But it also means keeping your focus on what’s important. It means NOT ridiculing your opponent, NOT making fun of their appearance, NOT calling them names or seeking revenge or getting violent just because you’re angry or upset. 

It means always holding out the possibility for reconciliation. It means always seeking to calm anxiety in people, rather than inflame anxiety. 

What we need to do is figure out a way to NOT raise anxiety levels, but to be a calming presence to all - even to our enemies. Yes, we need to act lovingly, even toward our enemies, as Jesus taught. 

Unfortunately, social media, and public discourse in general, is all about who gets burned the worst. “Oh, he showed you! He put you in your place!”

Jesus didn’t do that.

And those who seek to follow Jesus try not to do that, either.

Yesterday, I heard William Barber speak at Chapman University. He, and others like him, are always saying to their oppressors and their adversaries: Let’s sit down and talk this over. Let’s find a solution. And let’s stop oppressing our people! He’s very firm about that.

But he doesn’t name-call. He doesn’t try to raise anxiety levels or make anyone angry without reason. Because that won’t bring about liberation. That won’t bring about reconciliation. That won’t restore us to wholeness.

And I bet that, through prayer and other spiritual practices, he seeks God’s help with dealing with the anxiety in his own life, finding inner strength and peace, so that he can react without overreacting … and help lead people toward reconciliation and restoration. 

Because that’s where it starts. In here. We live in anxious times. It feels like it’s all going to end, and end badly; but in spending time with God, we find peace, and we remember what we learned at Easter: that ultimately, in the end, life and love prevail. 

The resurrection shows us that it’s not all going to end badly, no matter how things may seem. The resurrection shows that it’s all going to end in victory. Victory over all the ways of death. Victory over all that keeps us from living lives of freedom, lives of wholeness. 

Because we believe in God and in the power of resurrection, we know that, ultimately, it’s all going to end well.

And that knowledge calms our fears, calms our anxieties. It helps us pursue reconciliation and restoration, in reflection of the reconciliation and restoration that we have through Christ. 

"A New Beginning" (John 21: 1-17)

I imagine that, before they went fishing, the disciples were standing around, and one of them said: “So, uh, what are you gonna do?”

Someone sighed. Someone else kicked a pebble.

And after a moment of silence, another one said: “I dunno. What are you gonna do?”

Is that how you picture it?

Maybe we should back the story up a bit…

For the past several years, this group of disciples had left their old lives behind to follow Jesus. Every so often, someone comes along who gets everyone all excited, someone who appears to have what it takes to really change the world, to start a movement for change, perhaps even a revolution.

Jesus was such a person, and more. So much more.

On the road with him, it must have been an exciting time. Every day brought some new incredible event: Turning water into wine. Miraculously healing the son of a royal official. Miraculously healing a lame man at the pool of Bethzātha. Feeding thousands of people with – what? – just a few loaves of bread. Walking on water! Restoring sight to a blind man! Even bringing a man named Lazarus back from the dead!

Then he went to Jerusalem. The disciples knew Jerusalem was a dangerous place for a man who had challenged the status of the Roman government. But Jesus was no ordinary man, obviously. Maybe he would be the one to bring about a new kingdom, a new empire!

But then, just like that, it was over. He was arrested without due process or just cause. He was tortured by the state and executed for a crime he did not commit. They were only in Jerusalem a few days, and the time from his arrest to his death on the cross was just a few hours.

Justice, if you can call it that, was swift.

In the minds of the disciples, those days blurred together. Their entrance into town, with hundreds upon hundreds of people waving their palm branches, shouting hosanna! Hosanna!...

The banquet they shared together, during which Jesus spoke about the bread and the wine being his body and blood… and how he then took a towel from one of the servants, wrapped it around himself, and began to wash the disciples feet…

And then, praying in the garden… it was late, but Jesus would not sleep. The disciples couldn’t keep awake, but Jesus did, deep in prayer, praying with such intensity. They saw this between their own drooping eyelids, but when Judas returned with the soldiers, they were jolted awake just in time to see Jesus arrested and forced away.

They had all said they would stand by Jesus until the end, but when the time came, they all deserted him. Jesus had said that Peter would deny even knowing him, not once but three times, and Peter had insisted that that would never happen… and yet it did, just as Jesus had predicted.

They had all let him down.

They remained in hiding after the crucifixion. Mary Magdalene – a follower of Jesus – had reported to them that she had seen him alive, three days later. And then they themselves saw him. They rejoiced at his appearance, but it was a fleeting appearance, and they weren’t sure what to make of it.

As soon as the immediate danger seemed to have passed, they came out of hiding. They had left Jerusalem and had returned to Galilee, and were trying to figure out what to do next.

“So. What are you gonna do?”

*Sigh.*  “I dunno. What are you gonna do?”

Then Peter said, “Well… I’m going fishing,” and all the others jumped up and said, “Hold on! Wait! We’ll come with you.”

They went back to what they knew. Before they met Jesus, they were fishermen. Now that Jesus was gone, what else were they going to do? Go back to being fishermen!

They fished all night. I’m not a fisherman, but apparently that’s when the fish are biting. I always thought the best time was around dawn or dusk, but what do I know?

Maybe they just didn’t care. Maybe it wasn’t the right time for fishing; but they couldn’t just sit around doing nothing any longer. The waiting, the doing nothing, all the wondering and reflecting on recent events, all the regrets and disillusionment – it was going to drive them crazy, unless they found something to do to take their minds off of it all.

So they fished all night, and they caught nothing. As dawn was breaking – Let me say that another way: as darkness was giving way to light – they looked toward the shore and saw a man standing there, but they couldn’t tell who it was.

The man called out to them: “You have no fish, do you?”

“No,” they called back. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous. Apparently now they couldn’t even fish… the one thing they knew that they knew how to do, they couldn’t even do.

“Well,” said the man on shore, “cast your net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.”

The disciples did what the man on shore said. They cast their nets one more time, on the right side of the boat, and now it was so full of fish that they couldn’t even haul it in!

That’s when Peter recognized the man on shore. He yelled out: “It is the Lord!” And he put on some clothes and jumped out of the boat into the lake, ran out of the water onto the shore and was then standing, dripping wet, in front of Jesus.

Now what?

What is the appropriate way to greet someone you thought had died, someone whom you had denied even knowing three times?

I mean, how awkward would that be?

Peter turned and looked back at the other disciples, and saw them trying to drag the net full of fish. Jesus said to Peter: “Go, bring some of the fish you just caught.”

So Peter did. Then Jesus took some bread, and gave it to the disciples; and he took some fish which he had cooked, and gave it to them as well.

Then they finished eating, and…

Now what?

Another awkward silence.

Then Jesus said, “Peter.” Actually, he didn’t say that. He didn’t use the nickname that he himself had given him. Instead, he used Peter’s real name, the name he had before he met Jesus. He said, “Simon, son of John… do you love me more than these?”

I’m not sure what Jesus is referring to when he said “More than these…” These what? These fish? The other disciples? What do you think Jesus meant when he said, “Do you love me more than these?”

Whatever he meant, Peter responded, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

Then Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Then Jesus said again, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

What, did Jesus not believe him the first time he answered? Again, Peter said, “Yes, Lord. You know I do.”

Then Jesus said, “tend my sheep.”

Then Jesus said a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” And Peter was hurt. He was completely torn up inside. Jesus had now asked him three times, matching the three times Peter had denied knowing him.

Peter replied, “You know everything, Lord. You know that I love you.”

And Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Peter had thought that it was all over. When Jesus was arrested, tried, and crucified, all of his hopes and expectations came crashing down. Even the hopes he had for himself, and the expectation that he, Peter – the “Rock” – would stand faithful to the end – were destroyed.

But when Jesus asked him three times if Peter loved him – and when Jesus told Peter three times to “feed my sheep” – Peter realized: this wasn’t the end. It had certainly looked like the end, like it was all over, but in fact, this was just the beginning.

Thinking it was the end, Peter and the other disciples had been standing around, wondering what they were going to do. They were wringing their hands.
They went fishing, but their heart wasn’t really in it. They didn’t catch anything. I don’t think they were even really trying to.

What was the point of trying, of doing anything, really, when everything was over and the movement was dead?

But it wasn’t dead. And they had work to do. Jesus told them they had work to do: “Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep. Your work is just now getting started!”

Now, I think that we in Bixby Knolls Christian Church – along with just about every small congregation around the country – know exactly how the disciples felt standing around, wondering, “What are we gonna do?”

Because we’ve seen the empty nets. We’ve seen numbers decline. We’ve seen the membership go down. We’ve seen the deficits grow bigger. And we’ve heard people say, “The movement is dead. Everything we stood for has come to an end.”

And we go about doing our work, casting our nets, but our heart isn’t in it. We’re just going through the motions. We don’t know what else to do.

And when we pull the nets in, they’re empty.

And all is dark.

But there is a dawn coming. For those who have faith, darkness gives way to light. And standing there on the shore is a man telling us to cast our nets again.

What’s different about casting our nets this time? This time, our hearts are in it. This time, we put in our full effort. This time, we’re not just going through the motions.

And as the first rays of morning light shine down, we tug on the nets, only to realize that they are too full to haul in.

The movement is not dead. We are not at an end.

One thing I’ve realized lately is that we are, in many ways, a new church. So much has changed at Bixby Knolls Christian Church in just the eight years that I’ve been here. Eight years, and I’ve already been here longer than half of you.

I think I might start calling this a “new church start,” except that we do have a wonderful 70 year-history, and I don’t want to make light of that.

But I do hear Jesus saying to us: this is not the end. This is the beginning.

And I hear Jesus asking: Do you love me? If so, feed my sheep.

Do you love me? If so, recommit yourself to the work of the church.

Do you love me? If so, show me that you care enough about the movement to give it your all. I want you to pray for the church, I want you to tell others about the church, I want you to give to the church.

Stop denying me by how you live. Stop denying me in what you say. Stop denying me by how you spend your money.

Because ONLY if you love me and tend my sheep and commit yourself to the work I started will this movement thrive.

I hear Jesus saying: you need to love me more than these. “More than these” what? … You need to love me more than your own wealth. You need to love me more than your ambitions. You need to love me more than your possessions. You need to love me more than the expensive status symbols that you show off to your neighbors.

You need to love me with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.

The church, the body of Christ, depends on that kind of love, that kind of commitment.

Peter said yes, and he meant it. He became a great leader in the church. He followed through on his promise, and committed himself totally and completely. He gave his all.

Jesus asks you: Do you love me?

And he’s waiting to see how you respond.

"Finding Faith" (John 21:9-17)

Well, we know that some people only come to worship once or twice a year, at Easter, and at Christmas.  None of you, of course; you’re all here, today, one week after Easter.

No, I’m talking about those other people, who just come maybe once a year, hoping to find, once again, the faith that has somehow slipped away from them during the year.

Unfortunately, faith cannot be found at Easter.  It can’t.  People who come looking for faith on Easter Sunday will leave disappointed.

…Because the search for faith might begin on Easter Sunday, but it does not end on Easter Sunday.  A person searching for faith only on Easter Sunday will not find what he is looking for.

Throughout the gospels, Peter is featured more than any of the other disciples:  Peter’s call to be a disciple;  Peter being given a new name by Jesus;  Peter’s skepticism and then surprise at the huge catch of fish;  Peter walking on the water;  Peter’s confession of faith;  Peter’s denial of Jesus;  Peter running to the empty tomb.

And although Peter had seen the empty tomb, he did not fully understand its significance.  One could say that he had lost his faith the moment the rooster crowed; the moment he realized what a terrible thing he had done, how three times he had denied ever knowing Jesus at the moment Jesus most needed someone to stand by him.

When he heard that the tomb was empty, he ran there.  He couldn’t run as fast as the other disciple, but hey, not everyone is a track star … but the other disciple, when he reached the tomb, didn’t go in.  He waited for Peter, and Peter, when he got there, went into the tomb.

Peter looked around.  What was he looking for?  He saw the linen wrappings lying there…. He saw the burial cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’s head…. But what he was looking for, I think, was faith:  the faith he had lost when the rooster crowed.

He did not find it.  The scripture says he did not understand, and he returned home.

Some time later, Peter and some of the disciples were sitting around, still trying to make sense of everything:  the trial, the crucifixion, the last supper, and everything Jesus had ever told them.  What did it all mean?  And what are they to do now? 

No one had an answer.

Finally, Peter stood up and said, “Well, I can’t stand around here any longer, or I’ll go crazy.  We’re getting nowhere with these questions.  The only thing that makes sense to me right now is to go fishing.  Fishing, I understand.”

That sounded like a good idea to the rest of them, so they all crowded into the boat, and headed out.

For many of them, it was while they were fishing that they first encountered Jesus.  No surprise there, as many of them were fishermen.  It was while they were sitting in their boat, or mending their nets, that they first heard Jesus’ call to discipleship, and decided to follow him. 

It all seemed so much simpler then.  Perhaps if they returned to fishing, went back to what they knew, things would become clear; perhaps, out there on the water, they would find some of the answers they were looking for.  If they could just reclaim that moment from the past, maybe they could find their faith once again.

But it didn’t happen quite that way.

It ended up being a disappointing, disheartening, dispiriting night.  All night they were out there, and they caught nothing. Not one fish.  Emotionally, they were just as discouraged and confused as ever; spiritually, they were just as lost; and now, to top it all off, they were physically tired and hungry.

At sunrise, they saw a man standing on the shore.  He called out to them, a little too cheerily, “Hey!  Kids!  You don’t have any fish, do you?”

“No.  No, we do not.”

The man on the shore said, “Well, cast your nets on the right side of the boat, and you’ll find some.”

You know, sometimes – especially when you’re tired – it’s just easier to amuse someone than it is to argue with them.  So the disciples did as the man suggested.

Immediately, their nets were overflowing with fish!

Peter was still confused, and didn’t know what to make of all this.  One of the other disciples saw the confused look on Peter’s face, and playfully punched him in the arm and said, “Peter!  It’s the Lord!”

Excited, Peter jumped into the water and swam to shore, while the others came in the boat, dragging the nets because the nets were too full and too heavy to haul in.

Jesus cooked them breakfast: fresh fish and warm bread. 

Jesus took the bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them… and he did the same with the fish.

Then Jesus spoke directly to Peter.  Using Peter’s original, given name (instead of the nickname he had given him), Jesus said, “Simon son of John … do you love me?”

Oh, why do you have to ask me that, Jesus? In that question, I hear the pain.  I hear echoes of my failure.  I hear reminders of the faith I once had, the faith I lost… but, yes Lord.  You know that I love you.

Then Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs…. Simon son of John … do you love me?”

What, are you asking me again?  You’re killing me!  Yes, Lord!  You know that I love you!

Jesus said, “Then tend my sheep…  Simon son of John…”

Yyyeeeesssss, Lord?

“Do you love me?”

A third time.  Three times Peter had denied Jesus, denied his love for him, denied that he ever knew him.

Three times, Jesus asked:  “Do you love me.”

Now Peter was hurt.  His failure, and the wound it left, was now fully exposed.  All the pain and sorrow of that moment was now front and center.

It would have been so much easier if Jesus had asked Peter’s opinion regarding some issue of doctrine….

“Peter, is my resurrected body is physical or spiritual?  Peter, am I literally here, or metaphorically present?  Peter, what is the relationship between my divine nature and my human nature? 

“What’s your take on social issues and cultural controversies?  Are you a republican or a democrat?  Did you go to the synagogue on the holy day of obligation?  What does it mean to be born again – or, born anew?  When I told you that the bread is my body, is that transubstantiation, or consubstantiation?  Are you pre-millenial or post-millenial, new light or old light, conservative or progressive, evangelical or emergent?”

Any of these questions would have been easier to answer than answering – for the third time –

“Do you love me?”

But none of those questions would help Peter find the faith that he had lost.

“Simon son of John:  Do you love me?”

“Lord, you know everything.  You know that I love you.”

“Then feed my sheep.  Don’t abandon me, but do the work to which I’ve called you.  Don’t say you love me today, and deny me tomorrow.  Don’t glance in the empty tomb today, and forget about me tomorrow.  You won’t find your faith that way…

“Only by showing your love for me 365 days a year – or, 366, as the case may be – will you find your faith.  And the way to show your love for me is to feed – and care for – my sheep, serving especially those who are the least of all:  serving the poor, the outcast, the hungry and the oppressed;

welcoming strangers;

showing hospitality;

granting safe refuge to foreigners and immigrants;

caring for the sick;

speaking out for justice;

living simply, serving God rather than money;

bringing healing, wholeness, and new life to those who live in a fragmented world.

“Show me that you love me, not just one day of the year, not just one day of the week, but every day, every hour, every minute.”