This is week 4 of my 6-week sermon
series on the psalms, which I’ve titled, “Cries of the Heart.” So far we’ve explored the cry of wonder in
God’s presence, the cry of those who have been de-valued by society, and the
cry of fear & wonder at hearing God’s voice (along with the cry of despair
at not hearing God’s voice).
Along the way, I have reminded you that
the cries of the psalmists are not always theologically appropriate. The cry of the psalmist isn’t always an
example of how all people of faith should behave, except that they are honest
expressions of what the psalmist is dealing with: the struggles, the joy, the
hope and the hopelessness of human living.
As a teaching tool, the psalms can even
be offensive to those who look to scripture for instruction on how one should
act. The psalmists, for example, can be
unforgiving, uncompassionate, and unloving toward their enemies. But the emotion expressed is real and
raw. And sometimes, that’s just what we
need: we need to know that, when our emotions get out of control, that others
have had that same experience, and we are not alone.
This is especially true for today’s cry
of the heart, which is depression.
Depression is a complex and confusing issue, and I am in no position to
give advice on how one should manage depression. I’m not a therapist, a psychologist or psychiatrist.
But what I can do for those who suffer
from depression is this: I can say to
you, “You are not alone.” Look at the
psalmists; they, too, suffered from depression.
They, too, lived through what has come to be called the “dark night of
the soul.”
We’ve already heard parts of Psalm
31. To repeat just a little of it: “Have mercy on me Lord, because I’m
depressed. My vision fails…”
I wonder what the psalmist means when he
says, “my vision fails…” Does he mean
his eyesight? Or something else?
In the next line the psalmist says that
his spirit and body and strength also fail.
“Vision” could mean eyesight, or it
could mean something more. Vision could
mean one’s vision for the future, one’s hopes and dreams. “My hopes and dreams for the future
fail. I can’t see my way into the
future. I can’t see a future at all…”
This is the psalmist’s experience.
I think we can safely assume that the
psalmist was a person of deep faith.
That’s important, because often people who suffer from depression are
told that if only their faith was stronger, they wouldn’t have depression. Often they think that themselves: “I must
have a terribly weak faith, otherwise I wouldn’t be depressed. If only my faith were stronger.”
Well, the psalmists had a strong faith,
and they still suffered from depression.
Here are some other places in the psalms
where depression seems evident:
Psalm 6:
“I’m worn out from groaning.
Every night, I drench my bed with tears…”
Psalm 22: “My God!
My God! Why have you left me all
alone? Why are you so far from saving me
– so far from my anguished groans?... I’m poured out like water… my heart is
like wax… my strength is dried up.”
Psalm 38: “My wounds reek…” Again, I wonder what kind of wounds the
psalmist is referring to. Are these
physical wounds? Could they be emotional
wounds?... “My wounds reek; they are all infected because of my stupidity… I’m
worn out, completely crushed… My loved ones and friends keep their distance
from me in my sickness.” I know some
people with depression who can relate to that…
Psalm 42: “My tears have been my food both day and
night… Why, I ask myself, are you so depressed?
Why are you so upset inside? Hope
in God!” Again, there’s that
sentiment: “If only my faith were
stronger; if only I had more hope in God…”
Psalm 77: “I can’t sleep. I can’t speak. I can only moan…”
Psalm 88: “My only friend is darkness…”
Psalm 102: “My heart is smashed like dried-up
grass. I even forget to eat because of
my intense groans. I [just] lie awake at
night…”
Psalm 143: “My spirit is weak inside me – inside, my
mind is numb.”
Well, you get the idea. Similar passages appear in Isaiah,
Ecclesiastes and elsewhere… even the writings of the Apostle Paul convey hints
that he may have suffered from bouts of depression.
And then there are those throughout the
two centuries of Christian history – theologians, saints, and holy people of
all sorts – who wrote about their own depression. Perhaps none are so well-known as St. John of
the Cross, who in fact coined the phrase that I used earlier, referring to
depression as the “dark night of the soul.”
St. John of the Cross was a Carmelite
friar who lived in the 16th century. Here is a prayer he wrote:
O Lord, listen to my plea. With each new day comes death. I can no longer endure the darkness of my
life. I die because I do not die. For what purpose do I still draw breath? The only purpose is to delay the pains of
death, but my life is as painful as death.
I die because I do not die. To assuage my pain I gaze on you, in the form
of holy bread and sacred wine. But my
heart sinks because I cannot see your face.
I die because I do not die. If I look to the joy of heaven, when I shall
at last see you face to face, my present pain at your absence grieves me
more.
I die because I do not die. Draw me out of death’s lair, make me free to
live in your sight. At present my soul
is as dark as night, I die because I do not die.
Who but you, Lord, could bring sweetness in the midst
of bitterness, pleasure in the midst of torment? How wonderful are the wounds in my soul,
since the deeper the wound, the greater is the joy of healing.
The reason I decided to do a sermon
series on the psalms is that when I sat down and began reading through them
last summer, I was amazed at how the emotions expressed in so many of the
psalms were emotions I could relate to.
Encountering the raw expressions of joy, frustration, anger and despair
in the psalms made me want to shout to heaven, “Thank you, God, that someone
understands what I’m feeling!”
It was liberating. I felt free to be honest before God about
what I’m feeling, and to not feel that I have to pretend to be someone who I’m
not.
Now I’ve never experienced
depression. I’ve suffered from mood
swings that are a normal part of human nature, and I’ve had events and
circumstances bring me down for a while, but I’ve not been diagnosed with
depression. This certainly keeps me from
being any kind of an expert on the topic.
But for those who do live with
depression, I hope you are able to look at the psalms and say, “yes, someone
gets it.” I hope you are able to
recognize that you are not alone, and I hope that this realization is helpful
to you.
Clinical depression is a whole-body
disease. There is a psychological aspect
to it, a social aspect, a physical aspect, and a spiritual aspect. At most, all I can speak about is the
spiritual aspect.
And, spiritually speaking, the best
advice I can give is to simply acknowledge depression, and to care for it. I’ve mentioned this before in relation to
anger and other negative traits and emotions, and I think that perhaps it is
even more true for depression.
To fight against depression, to ignore
it, to try to live as if it’s not there… this is not helpful.
The analogy I’ve used before is that of
a crying baby. If you are the caregiver
of a baby, and that baby is crying in her crib, upset because something is
wrong, your response is not to fight with your baby. You don’t yell to the baby, “Shut up, you
stupid baby!”
What you do is you take care of your
baby. You take her in your arms. You speak gently to her. You find out what is wrong.
If you suffer from depression, I think
you will find this helpful. Look at your
depression as if it were your own infant child.
Hold it gently. Speak tenderly to
it, with compassion. Love it and care
for it, because it is a part of you.
Besides, depression can be a great
teacher, full of wisdom. If you avoid
the darkness, you may miss the greatest opportunity available to you to know
something of your life being held in the presence of God. Ignoring your depression can lead to a sappy,
syrupy, superficial, artificial faith.
Acknowledging depression can lead to a faith that is real, honest,
authentic, and deep.
And even though the psalmists do
sometimes speak of God’s absence, they also speak of God’s presence. Psalm 34 says: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he
saves those whose spirits are crushed.”
There is a website called Soul Pancake.
It was created by actor Rainn Wilson of the TV show The Office, and two of his
friends. Rainn Wilson is speaking
tonight at the South Coast Interfaith Council’s Gala dinner.
A video on the Soul Pancake website
features a group of volunteers who were tested to measure their happiness
level. After that initial test, the
volunteers were asked who had the biggest influence on them… They were then
told to write that person a thank-you note.
But that wasn’t all. After writing the thank-you note, they were
then handed a phone, and were told to call that person and read them the thank
you note they had written.
Then their happiness levels were
re-tested.
After writing their thank-you notes,
their happiness levels rose 2 to 4 percent.
After reading their notes to the person on the phone, their happiness
levels rose 4 to 19 percent.
And get this: the person who started the day with the lowest happiness level had the biggest
jump.
The conclusion of this study is that it
is especially important to express gratitude when you’re feeling low. Your own happiness depends on it.
Now I don’t want to oversimplify
depression. Writing a thank-you letter
to someone and then reading it to them isn’t going to end depression.
But if you can find a way to express
gratitude every day, even in the midst of depression – which is something the
psalmists do quite well – and you do this day after day after day… it certainly
couldn’t hurt. And it just might be the
extra help you need.
So perhaps the psalmists do have
something to teach us after all.
Acknowledge depression. Love it
and care for it and learn from it, for it can be a great teacher.
And then find a way to express
gratitude. Find a way to say “thank
you.” Your psychiatrist may prescribe
medicine to treat the physical, biological aspect of depression. The psalmists, it seems, have their own
prescription to treat the spiritual aspect of depression.
Give thanks. Not in
spite of your depression. Give
thanks in the midst of your
depression. Express gratitude. Every
day.
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