Integrity is a word that has kind of followed me around for much of my life.
The first time it really grabbed my attention was over 30 years ago when I interviewed for a job, and the person who interviewed me said afterward that he would not be hiring me because I lacked integrity.
This was before I became a minister, before I went to seminary. I had applied to work with a good organization that I really liked, but which had policies that were homophobic. 30 years ago, that was not unusual, though this particular organization was already starting to feel some pressure to change its policies.
The person interviewing me asked me if I was OK working for this organization and supporting its homophobic policies. (He didn’t use the word “homophobic,” but whatever.)
I said—because I really liked this organization and really wanted this job—that if I was hired, I knew that I would be expected to enforce the policies. And I would do so. I also said that if I felt that any policies were unjust or immoral, I would advocate for change within the organization, to help make the organization even better than it already was.
He didn’t like that answer. In his eyes, I lacked integrity.
And maybe I did. To work for an organization that held ideas that I considered immoral… and to be expected to enforce those policies, even if I didn’t agree with them… Is that lacking in integrity?
It made me think about people I know who worked for the church. Pastors and all other sorts of people, working in all sorts of different types of churches… some of them paid, some of them volunteers… And some of them straight, and some of them gay.
All of them believing in affirming people of all sexual orientations and gender identities; all of them believing that the church should be affirming of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
But not all of the churches they worked for did.
Yet they loved the church, they loved what the church taught them about Jesus; and because of what the church taught them, they believed that Jesus unconditionally loves and affirms all people.
So they stuck with the church, hoping and praying and working for the day that those churches would realize that our God is an inclusive, affirming God, and that churches should convey that love in every aspect of their ministry.
And many of those churches, over the years, did change, and now they do welcome and affirm all God’s children.
Now: were they lacking in integrity by working for a church before that church became inclusive and affirming?
It’s really hard to judge, isn’t it? It’s complicated. But I think most of them are to be commended.
Looking back, I think the organization I interviewed with was lacking integrity more than I was…and the organization came to realize that as well. A few years later, they got rid of their homophobic policies.
But I still wonder what it would have been like if I had been hired, before they changed their policies. I don’t know exactly how that would have played out. It may be that the issue wouldn’t have really come up much in my professional duties. But maybe it would have… and how would I have responded?
Having thought about integrity, I have come to define integrity as acting in a way that is consistent with who you say you are. It means walking the walk, and not just talking the talk. It means if you claim certain values, and if you encourage others to live by those values, that you try to live by those values yourself.
You don’t say, “this is who I am, this is what I believe…” and then act in ways that are contrary to what you’ve just proclaimed.
****** One of the best things our denomination’s General Minister, Terri Hord Owens, has done, is encourage us as a church to “be the church we say we are.” We say that we are a pro-reconciliation, anti-racism church; let’s show the world this is who we are by the way we live and by the work we do, not just the words we say.
We say we are a movement for wholeness in a fragmented world… so let’s get out there and actually work for wholeness, for all of God’s people.
This is what it means to have integrity. It means we actually prioritize, in our lives and in the work we do, things that are in line with the values we claim. We don’t claim certain beliefs and values, and then live lives that demonstrate that our real values and priorities aren’t what we say they are.
And because—ever since that interview—I have thought a lot about integrity, I ponder and meditate on things. For example: I claim to be a person who prioritizes caring for the earth and protecting our climate—yet I still get around town in a vehicle that burns fossil fuels.
This leads me to ask myself: how can I continue growing in integrity? What changes can I make to my life, so that my actions and my lifestyle are more in line with the things I say are important to me?
How can I live with greater integrity?
***** In today’s scripture, Jesus says to seek first the kingdom of God. In other words, make God’s kingdom your number one priority.
And God’s kingdom is everything that Jesus talks about in the Sermon on the Mount.
God’s kingdom—the kingdom we are instructed to seek first—is the kingdom where the poor are blessed… the kingdom where the peacemakers are blessed…the kingdom where those who hunger and thirst for what is right are blessed… the kingdom where the meek and the merciful and the pure in heart are blessed.
God’s kingdom is where LGBT youth find affirmation; where immigrants find a home; where strangers find welcome; and where Black lives matter.
(What else should we add to this list?)
God’s kingdom is where women and girls are protected, and do not walk in fear.
God’s kingdom is where families are nurtured and supported… and not torn apart.
God’s kingdom is where those who are sick are cared for.
God’s kingdom is where those who mourn find comfort.
Seek first this kingdom. Seek first the righteousness of God, who reigns over this kingdom with love and compassion.
We claim to be people who seek God’s kingdom. Every Sunday, when we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we pray that God’s kingdom may come on earth, as it is in heaven.
But then we leave here, and we go about our lives, and we focus our attention on so many other things. We make compromises every day. And we worry so much about so many things, while neglecting the kingdom of God.
***** What shall I eat? What shall I wear?
When Jesus talked about worry, I wonder if he was responding to those who wanted to follow him, but were held back by these cares and worries.
If I follow you, Jesus, who will provide for my family? Who will pay the bills? Who will mow the lawn and prepare the meals and do the dishes? Who will get my tax paperwork ready? Who will keep the car running?
I’m not saying these things aren’t important. I think even Jesus might say that these things are important.
But the amount of time we spend worrying about them, compared to the amount of time we spend worrying about the kingdom of God, is out of proportion.
We should be worrying about the kingdom of God first—the kingdom where the poor are fed and the sick are cared for and the vulnerable are protected.
That should be our priority.
If we are truly the people we say we are. If we are truly the followers of Christ we claim to be.
***** With each generation that comes along, fewer and fewer are going to church. And sociologists and historians and church leaders have studied this trend, to try to figure out why.
There is no “one single reason.” But one of the most significant reasons—and perhaps the number one reason—is that people are seeing that the church has not always been who it said it was.
The church has not always followed the way of Jesus—the way of love and compassion.
The church has not always acted with integrity.
Many grew up in a church that taught them about the unconditional love of God, a church that nevertheless placed conditions on the love it shared—a church that failed to practice the very love that it preached.
It’s like a nation that proclaims that “all men are created equal,” but then denies equal rights based on skin color.
Every day I worry about these things. I worry about a lot of other things as well. I worry about money—whether my family will have enough, and whether this church will have enough—even though I know that sometimes, my worrying about money becomes a form of worship, a form of idolatry, and that I can’t worship both money and God.
I spend too much time worrying about things that Jesus says aren’t as important, and not enough time worrying about the one thing Jesus says is the most important thing of all.
It’s hard to be the person I claim to be, the person I want to be, the person I believe God calls me to be. It’s hard to be a man of integrity.
***** Jesus never said that following him would be easy. He did say—later in the Sermon on the Mount—that the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
And anyone who tries to follow Jesus, and live with integrity, soon discovers how hard the road is.
Yet what a blessing it is that we are here together, you and I, a community seeking that road to life, and helping each other travel that road as best we can.
None of us travel that road perfectly. Our journey is full of wrong turns, delays, and detours.
But traveling together, hand in hand, side by side, we follow that path.
And we continue working on behalf of God’s kingdom, seeking to make that kingdom a reality for us and for all our neighbors near and far.
And, with God’s help, we continue becoming the church we say we are: a church of integrity. A church that seeks first the kingdom of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment