Today is kind of an introduction to the kindness campaign that we will be participating in over the next several months.
And you may be wondering: Why kindness?
I admit, kindness doesn’t seem as important or weighty as some other virtues, like love, or justice, or peace.
The first time I ever preached on kindness, I said that the first image that comes to mind when I think of kindness is someone petting a kitten.
Very cute. It would look good on a Hallmark card. But not exactly the kind of thing that’s going to save the world, I thought.
And I know some of you are concerned that kindness might actually be a way of avoiding more important things, like standing up for justice, and fighting for what we believe is right; and that, therefore, too much focus on kindness can actually be a bad thing.
That was me, too; but over the years, several things forced me to reconsider, to the point that, now, I think of kindness as one of the most important virtues.
In last week’s sermon on wisdom, I mentioned that one source of wisdom for me is the scout law, which I learned to recite by memory as a boy scout, and which continues to guide me today.
Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.
I also mentioned the fruits of the Spirit from the book of Galatians: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
I’m going to add another list that you may remember from earlier this summer. It comes from one of the scriptures we used at Camp Walter Scott, from the book of Colossians: clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
If you’ll bear with me for one more list, there appears in the book of 2nd Corinthians this list: “purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love, truthful speech, and the power of God.”
All of these are good lists, worthy of our attention. It would do us a lot of good to spend a little time meditating on these lists. Perhaps every day.
Now, despite their similarities, there is only one virtue that appears on all these lists, and that’s kindness.
Which means kindness IS important!
And if kindness is on all these lists and is such an important virtue for Christians to demonstrate, then Christians should be known for the kindness they show to others. That could, and perhaps should, be a sort of nickname for us: “Christians. The kind people.”
Unfortunately, Christians today aren’t always known for being kind.
Christians are known for saying a lot of things. And a lot of the time, when Christians speak, they begin with a phrase like, “The Bible says,” or, “In Jesus’ name…” and, unfortunately, what follows is usually not an expression of kindness, or even expressed in a kind manner.
In fact, more often Christians seem to be always angry about something, and the way they express their anger is often less than kind.
And in that, I suppose Christians are just reflecting the world around us. Anger is IN these days. Have you noticed?
People everywhere are always getting angry about something. We have road rage on the streets, and “Karens” on the internet. And have you watched any of the political conventions? So many speakers. So much anger.
That’s how it is in politics, on social media, on talk shows and cable news shows. Everybody is always yelling about something. There’s no shortage of outrage, even if some of that outrage must be fabricated.
And that anger and that outrage often lead people to be less than kind in how they act.
So it’s very strange that, at the same time, in our personal lives, we try hard to not be angry. We hold our anger in. It’s as if we’re embarrassed by our anger.
It’s all quite confusing and complicated. When do we hide our anger and feign politeness? When do we let it all out, and express our anger? And is there a way to express anger in a way that still allows you to be kind? Can anger and kindness coexist?
It all has me wondering: just what is anger? The letter of James counsels us to be slow to anger. Therapists, meanwhile, will tell us that it’s good to let anger out, to express what we’re feeling.
I have a feeling that they’re not quite talking about the same thing.
Maybe we need more than one word for anger. Just like biblical Greek has multiple words for love—agape, philios, eros—maybe it would be helpful if we had multiple words for anger.
Just like the word “pride” is used in different ways. There’s the egotistical, “I’m better than you” type of pride, which I believe is what scripture has in mind when it speaks negatively of pride; but there is also the pride of a parent or grandparent in the accomplishments of their children or grandchildren; and there’s the pride that our community demonstrated earlier this month at Pridefest. And those, I think, are good kinds of pride.
I think that, in the same way, there is good anger, and there is bad anger. There is anger that, when expressed appropriately, can have positive results; and there is anger that is destructive and hurtful to others.
And, yes, I do believe that anger and kindness can coexist.
Some years back I read a book about anger by Thich Nhat Hanh. From that book I learned that when people experience a negative emotion, like anger, they are often tempted to hide it, bury it, ignore it.
Others, we know, let their anger loose, like an angry wolf terrorizing a village.
But Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that anger, like any other emotion, is a part of you. It is a part of you that is crying out; and it deserves to be treated with compassion.
If you have a baby, and the baby is crying, you will react compassionately toward that baby. You will comfort the baby, and try to figure out what’s wrong. You might pick up the baby, hold the baby in your arms, and rock them gently while saying, “There. There. It’ll be alright.”
Thich Nhat Hanh says that is how you should respond to your anger. Imagine your anger is a baby. Gently hold your anger. Speak compassionately to your anger. Let your anger know that it’ll all be alright.
If your baby is in the other room and is crying, you wouldn’t ignore your baby’s crying. Yet many of us ignore our anger.
If your baby is in the other room and is crying, you wouldn’t stand at the door and yell, “Shut up, you stupid baby!”
Yet many of us treat the anger within us that way.
No. You need to respond gently to your anger. You need to act compassionately toward your anger. You need to treat your own anger with kindness, because when you treat your anger with kindness, you are treating yourself with kindness.
And that will help you. It will help you feel safe and assured. It will help you find calm and peace.
And it will help you figure out how to respond to your anger, how to express your anger, in ways that are appropriate and helpful and constructive.
When the book of James says that we should be slow to anger, it’s because James is well aware that anger is often expressed in ways that are hurtful and destructive to others. But I don’t think James is saying that we shouldn’t ever be angry, or that we should ignore or suppress our anger.
But I think it is important to take the time to react compassionately to our anger, and with kindness, so that we can continue treating others with compassion and kindness.
Even Jesus got angry at the injustice he saw in the world. When he flipped over the tables of the sellers and moneychangers, I don’t think this was an unplanned, spur-of-the-moment, knee jerk reaction on Jesus’ part. I don’t think it was uncontrolled anger let loose. I think it was a well–planned, carefully considered demonstration meant to contrast God’s kingdom, and the corrupt kingdoms of earth.
It’s like Rosa Parks, and her refusal to give up her seat on that Montgomery Bus back in 1955. Her decision to remain in her seat wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. It was a planned-in-advance demonstration against injustice.
It was the result of a deep anger and outrage against unfair laws and practices; but instead of allowing that deep anger and outrage to make her lose control of herself or treat others with contempt, she maintained control, and treated others with respect, showing kindness even while she constructively expressed her anger.
In fact, in that one moment, and in the person of Rosa Parks, we see both anger and kindness, coexisting. We see a demand for justice, combined with a respect for all people, including the ones committing the injustice, and a respect for their dignity as human beings.
My hope is that, in the coming months, we can draw on that energy, and access that power—the power Rosa Parks accessed when she sat on the bus, demanding justice. And by the way, she wasn’t the first. There were others who were arrested for not giving up their bus seats, even before Rosa Parks, including: Bayard Rustin in 1942, Irene Morgan in 1946, Lillie Mae Bradford in 1951, Sarah Louise Keys in 1952, and Claudette Colvin, Aurelia Browder, Susie McDonald, and Mary Louise Smith, in 1955.
I don’t know the details of each of those incidents, but my guess is that each of them, likewise, will demonstrate how anger at injustice can be expressed in ways that are productive, and that demonstrate kindness.
There are many issues that I find troubling. There are many people saying things that make me angry. And I suspect that will only get worse as we get closer to election day.
But, inspired by Jesus, and by others who have maintained a show of kindness and respect even while expressing their anger and outrage at injustice, I hope to do the same.
At the very least, I will never make fun of a politician or candidate or someone I disagree with, because of their appearance, or the way they talk; and I won’t call them names; and I won’t be rude. I won’t insult them, and I won’t make comments about their perceived intelligence or lack of intelligence.
If I do, I hope someone calls me out on it.
Because it’s rude, it’s unkind, and it’s not at all Christ-like. It’s divisive, and it does nothing to help heal the hurt that so many are feeling.
What I will do is applaud those working for justice, and those who take a stand for the vulnerable. I will seek out and lift up those who show kindness to foreigners, immigrants, widows, orphans, and the poor, as Jesus did. I will support those who believe in equality, and who will defend the rights of people of all races, sexualities, and gender identities.
And when I get angry, I will do my best to care for my anger, and to reflect on my anger, so that I can express my anger in ways that are helpful, ways that lead to healing. I will be slow to anger, but I won’t hide or suppress my anger, because there may be times when that anger, expressed appropriately, may be just what the world needs.
And this is all, to some degree, aspirational, because I won’t do it all perfectly. But I will try. I am called to try. We are all called to try, to do our best, to show kindness, and to work for healing and unity; to be the movement for wholeness in a fragmented world that we say we are.
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