Sermon: “Linked Through Acceptance”
Show of hands: who identifies more with Martha, always working, staying on top of chores, and maybe even feeling resentment towards those who don’t do their share?
And who identifies more with Mary, willing to set aside the chores, for now at least, to be present to what’s happening in the moment?
There’s probably a little of both Martha and Mary in each of us. I know that, for me, in one moment, I can easily ignore those dirty dishes in the sink, letting them sit while I engage in some other, more enticing activity; but when I do get up and start doing chores, I can also easily feel resentment toward those others who are not presently doing their chores…
Which, I guess, makes me a bit of a hypocrite…
And because I have experienced that resentment, I tend to empathize with Martha when hearing this story.
Because, after all, there is work to be done! And Martha and Mary are the hosts of this gathering, so it’s their job to do the work, to complete the chores!
And I feel bad for Martha, doing the work, expecting some praise or at least sympathy; I don’t think she expected that mild reprimand from Jesus.
But because I do identify with Martha, it’s hard for me to hear Jesus’ words. I want him to praise hard-working Martha, just like I want to be praised and recognized for the times I work hard; but instead, Jesus commends Mary, the one who isn’t helping with the chores, the one who is just sitting…
I look at Mary, and I make the assumption that she was sitting for no other reason than that she just didn’t want to do the chores. She didn’t feel like helping. Because of laziness, perhaps, or selfishness, or maybe obstinance…
And as a result, she wasn’t fulfilling her role as host. She wasn’t practicing good hospitality. She wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing.
That’s how things seemed to Martha… and that’s certainly how I’ve tended to read this story over the years.
But the more times that I revisit this story, the more times I hear it, the more I question these assumptions. Was Mary really being lazy? Was she really just trying to find a way to get out of doing her chores (like a spoiled child)? Was she really being a bad, inhospitable host?
The way Jesus responds to Martha makes me question the assumptions I’ve been making about Mary. (Jesus is always making me question my assumptions. If you ask me, it’s his most annoying trait…)
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Here at First Christian Church, there are a lot of roles that need to be filled, and a lot of chores that need to be done. Fortunately, we have a lot of Marthas willing to take on those roles… I don’t know what we’d do, without them all…
Because in our church, we need people to be greeters, elders, deacons, junior deacons, musicians, singers, team coordinators, small group leaders, food preparers, budget preparers, board members, trustees, check signers, technology gurus, cleaners, fix-it people, children’s ministry leaders, info desk hosts, and so much more… and so many of you have said yes to one or more of these roles…
Without you, this church wouldn’t function. We’d fall apart. So the last thing I want to do is preach a sermon that would discourage any of you from doing the work that we all depend on!
Jesus’s own ministry, likewise, depended on some hard-working people to make things happen; people willing to get the chores done.
I read something this week by Nadia Bolz-Weber that reminded me that, when Jesus traveled, it wasn’t just him; there was a whole entourage, a whole group of people who traveled with him.
He had his disciples—the twelve disciples we’re familiar with, but others as well, men and women… And when they all arrived in a new place, someone would have to make arrangements for lodging, and for meals, and for other needs that Jesus and his disciples might have.
In other words, there was work, and chores, to be done, and arrangements to be made…
When Jesus and his disciples arrived in Bethany, the home of Mary and Martha became their headquarters…
Which means that Mary and Martha were called upon to be hosts, and to show hospitality… and hospitality, of course, involves work, and chores.
And Martha was busy doing all those chores, doing all that work, being a good host.
So why did Jesus say that Mary had chosen the better part? Why did he praise her for not working, and encourage Martha to follow Mary’s example, instead of the other way around?
It’s because Jesus understood that there is a time for work and chores; and there’s a time for setting work and chores aside. Jesus wasn’t saying that work and chores should never be done. There’s a time and place for everything.
So if you were planning to use Jesus to get out of doing your chores—sorry, it’s not that simple…
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It’s not the work that is bad, the tasks, the chores; but it’s when we let that work and those tasks keep us from being “present” to those who are our guests; being “present” to Jesus in our lives; being “present” to the ones we are called to show hospitality to.
I’ve seen people who, when guests are over, are too busy fixing meals and setting the table and then cleaning up the table and doing the dishes and wiping down the counters and putting everything away, right away… that they never actually spend time being present with their guests; and their guests end up feeling less welcome, and feeling like they’re in the way, even though the task-doers are working extra hard trying to make them feel welcome.
And I once heard that a good way to show hospitality is not to do the dishes and do all the cleaning right away, by yourself, trying too hard to be the perfect host; but, if there is a task that needs to be done, to invite your guest to join you. “Hey, would you mind drying while I wash the dishes?” This gets the task done, but it also allows you to actually spend time with your guest, enjoying conversation with them; and because you give them the opportunity to help, it makes them feel useful and not a burden…
And you can be present with one another while you both stand at the sink, doing the dishes, together…
In the church, we try so hard to show hospitality and welcome to guests and those who have recently started attending. What if we invited them to join us in some task…Maybe not the first time they are here, but soon after…
I’m not saying we should give every first-time visitor a mop and direct them to the restroom…
But maybe there is some task that would help them feel included, more welcome, and maybe less of a burden…
“Hey, I know you’re new here, but do you want to help me hand out these bulletins?”
Or, if you’re having a good conversation with someone after worship, say, “I’d love to continue chatting with you, but I need to collect the used communion cups; want to join me?”
This is something we do at church camp. At Camp Walter Scott, campers are invited to help with some of the tasks and chores at camp. Simple things, like sweeping, wiping down tables before and after meals, emptying wastebaskets, etc.
Does this keep them from being present? No. If a group of them were sent to the kitchen to prepare meals while the rest of camp gathered for stories or discussion, or even some fun, all-camp activity, then that would keep them from being present. It would keep them from the one main thing, the better part. It would separate them from the whole reason they are at camp in the first place. Just like Martha insisting that Mary leave Jesus to do chores would separate her from Jesus, the whole reason they were doing all this work in the first place.
I’ve heard that some schools in Japan include some time in the day for students to do some cleaning. Each day, students sweep, empty the trash, and wipe down desks.
At all the schools I substitute taught at, a janitor comes in after the students leave, and the janitor does these tasks. Most times, the students never see the janitor.
And in many of the classrooms I’ve taught in, many students take very little ownership for the cleanliness of the classroom. At the end of the period, the floor is littered with papers, the desks are a mess, and the students don’t really care, because they know that, tomorrow, somehow, it will all magically be cleaned up.
And before I sound too judgmental, I am aware that I often have the same attitude, if I’m walking in the park, or a parking lot, and I see some trash on the ground… well, it’s not my responsibility…
And yet, it is. I live on this planet, and shouldn’t I share in its care and cleanup?
I didn’t hear Martha invite anyone to help her with the chores. Maybe because she actually knew, deep down, that it wasn’t the right time for that. Jesus was teaching; it was time to listen, to be present. Perhaps after, when he was done teaching, would be the time for chores. And maybe Jesus would even help out, if asked.
*
In what ways do you welcome Jesus? Are there times when you need to step away from your distractions, in order to be present with Jesus, and make him feel welcome in your life?
There is a connection here to Mother’s Day: As children get older and become adults, if you ask their mothers what they want for Mother’s Day, more than anything, nearly all mothers will say they just want their children to spend some time with them… Come visit, if they no longer live at home…just be present…
(Dads want the same thing…)
And children want that, too. A parent, a grown-up who loves them, who is present with them, and in that presence, accepts, welcomes, embraces, and affirms them.
Isn’t that the one thing, the better part, that Jesus was talking about?
It’s so hard for us to be present in this day and age. One of the things we’ll do at camp is find ways to be present with and to one another.
We’ll also find ways to be present with God, and present with creation. We’ll notice what’s right in front of us and all around us: the trees, the birds… the cicadas…
We’ll train our minds to not be too distracted to notice these things in our midst.
Because Christ is present in our midst. The Spirit is present. The kingdom is present.
In our midst. Within us and among us.
But if we are too distracted, we will fail to notice. And we will have missed the one main thing, and we will have failed to have chosen the better part.
There is a time for tasks and chores. But there is also a time to be present. When the time comes for tasks and chores, do the tasks and chores. But when the time comes to be present… be present.
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