All Saints Sunday can be a day of big emotions:
Gratitude for the lives of those who we have known who have passed away, and their blessing and influence on our lives.
Sadness that they are no longer with us.
Wonder about the meaning and mystery of life, including life after death.
Contemplativeness as we consider how we are living our own lives, and what legacy we will leave to those close to us after we are gone.
These thoughts and emotions, in turn, may lead us to wonder: What is our purpose? What are our own thoughts about death, and about life?
One day, I pondered the question: what is it that can help me face death without fear? Is there anything that can help me face death without fear?
I pondered this for a while.
Eventually, I realized that there is something.
Love.
To be surrounded by the love of family and friends….
To be able to share my love with them….
And to know the love of God, from which nothing—not even death—can separate us.
I realized that if I have love, then I’m not afraid.
Last week, I preached about how love is the greatest commandment. And I’ve mentioned how much I have learned from you, from the people of Bixby Knolls Christian Church, when it comes to love.
You have taught me more than you know, by the way you have shown love to me, and the way you show love to one another.
And it’s only natural that some of you have asked, out of love, how it is that I am now choosing to leave Bixby Knolls Christian Church.
It began as a decision rooted in financial necessity. Almost a year ago, when we had our congregational meeting, it was brought to our attention that the days of Bixby Knolls Christian Church being able to maintain current levels of spending on staff salaries were limited.
That notice entered my mind and my heart, and while, at the time, I hoped that things would change and I would be able to stay, I realized that I needed to prepare for the possibility that things would not change—or, at least not quickly enough for me to stay.
This is not a criticism of anyone, for your level of generosity is, and has been, more than I could have ever hoped for.
So I began updating my profile in the denomination’s search and call system.
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but updating one’s profile in the search and call system means answering questions of purpose, of calling, of strengths and weaknesses. In other words, answering questions that are very similar to the questions you all have discussed in those after-church meetings.
Questions of “What is your ‘why?’” My questions used slightly different language, but they were basically the same.
And it took me a while to answer them. First, I read in my profile the answers that were already there; the answers I provided the last time I was in the search and call process, 16 years ago, which eventually led to me becoming pastor here at Bixby Knolls Christian Church.
I thought about all the ways I’ve grown and changed since then, how you all have helped me grow and improve as a pastor over the years, and what my strengths and growing edges are today, and what type of ministry God is calling me to today.
It took me a month to write new answers to those questions. I didn’t want to rush it. I saw the value in the process, the journey, and didn’t want to rush to answers or solutions too quickly.
And what a powerful, beneficial process it was for me. It truly did help me gain a greater understanding of God’s call on my life, at this point in my life.
And as we all were pondering questions like this—me, in search and call, and you, in the New Beginnings conversations—I began to sense that God was calling me to a new adventure, a new chapter, a new journey (or whatever you want to call it) … and that God was calling Bixby Knolls Christian Church to a new adventure, a new chapter, a new journey…
And it was then that I realized that I was being called to a new ministry for more than just financial reasons. I realized that God has greater things in store for both you and for me. New journeys and new adventures.
And through this process, I’ve learned to trust God more. I thought I knew what I wanted; but I made a commitment to being open to whatever it was that God wanted.
And the journey had many twists and turns. Sometimes, I was so sure that God was calling me in a certain direction, only to have God put up a roadblock and say, “Nope! That’s not the direction for you!”
And I’d say, “Really?!?” Because I was so certain that it was.
And I’d alter the coordinates, and my personal spiritual GPS would recalibrate and recalculate, and I’d head off in some new direction, not knowing where this journey would take me, or how many other detours there would be along the way…
But with each detour, each roadblock, each surprise, I learned to trust God a little more.
And I’ve become a little more philosophical, and a little more able to trust God to lead me, even when the future seems unclear.
Our scripture today is a psalm that is labeled, “A prayer of Moses.” Most likely, it was written by someone many centuries after Moses, someone who perhaps tried to imagine what it was like for Moses.
Moses learned to trust God as he led the Israelites out of Egypt, and through the Wilderness, and, eventually, to the promised land where they would be made into a whole new people and a whole new nation.
It was an incredibly difficult journey, through the wilderness, filled with wanderings, detours, and countless challenges. The people, and even Moses himself, wanted to give up at times.
Yet, in the end, Moses could see how God remained faithful, and how God was with them, and how God was leading them.
“Lord, you have been our dwelling-place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting, you are God.”
Our God is the God of our ancestors. Our God is the God of all those who have died: those whose names we read this morning, and all those who died in years past.
When we get impatient, or when we wonder why things happen when they do, or why we are being led on a journey into the wilderness, this prayer of Moses reminds us: “a thousand years in God’s sight are like a day, or like a watch that passes in the night.”
This prayer of Moses reminds us that our own days are limited. They pass by quickly.
But with the passing years comes new wisdom.
Richard Rohr has written a book about how a person’s spiritual journey evolves and matures in the second half of life. In the first half of life, he says, one’s spiritual purpose is about constructing a good, solid container for faith. In the second half of life, our task changes; the task then becomes filling that container.
For me, I think the second half of life involves asking more questions than answers, and knowing that the answers aren’t even that important; but that asking the right questions is.
But the one thing I still hold on to is love, as well as trusting the one who is the source of all love.
I know that many of you feel anxiety and sadness at my upcoming departure. It will, for me, be a difficult goodbye. But I want you to please trust God with the future of Bixby Knolls Christian Church.
You may have a lot of questions, and that’s good.
The answers may not come as quickly as you’d like, and that’s OK.
The God of our ancestors will be with you. The God who has been our dwelling-place in all generations will be with you. The God who was with the Israelites on their 40-year journey to the promised land will be with you. The God who has guided this church’s ministry for over 77 years will be with you.
That God can be trusted. I know this better now than I did a year ago, or at any other point in my life.
When the future is uncertain, trust God.
When life’s journey takes an unexpected turn, trust God.
In any and every circumstance, trust God.
From everlasting to everlasting, trust God.
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