Jeremiah 20:7-13
In the movie Billy Elliot, Billy is asked: “What does it feel like when you’re dancing?”
Billy pauses, thinks about it, then says, “It feels good. Like a fire in my body. I’m flying, like a bird. Like electricity. There are sparks inside of me, and I’m free.
A lot of preachers, when they are in seminary, and they are faced with questions of “Why do you want to be a preacher, or a pastor?” they say something similar. They like quote Jeremiah 20, verse 9, and say that there is a fire in their bones, compelling them to preach, and that if they didn’t preach, that fire would burn and burn until it forced its way out, one way or another.
And all this sounds wonderful. And, in a very real way, it’s true. Whether it’s preaching, or dancing—whatever it is that God has called you to do, this is what it feels like.
Fifteen years ago, before I came to Bixby Knolls Christian Church, I had a few months off from preaching, and I thought, this is a time to see if I still feel that fire in my bones.
Turns out, I did. I missed preaching. I missed sharing the amazingly good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the gospel that makes people whole, that liberates them, and sets them free.
But there’s something about Jeremiah’s statement that is often overlooked. Jeremiah’s statement is a complaint. Some classify it as a lament. Jeremiah isn’t exactly happy about this fire in his bones.
Jeremiah mentions all the hardships he has endured, the struggles, and the suffering, all because of that fire in his bones that will not go out. He has to preach God’s word, he has to be a prophet, because nothing else will satisfy his deep longing and sense of call.
But preaching and prophesying keeps getting Jeremiah into a whole lot of trouble. He wishes he could do something else, but he can’t. This is what he’s called to.
So: is it worth it?
That is an important question to ask.
If we feel called by God to proclaim the gospel, to share the good news, to do the work it takes to being a movement for wholeness in a fragmented world…
It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be a struggle. Because so much of what we feel called to do and to proclaim goes against what the rest of the world calls us to do and to be and to proclaim.
Is it worth it?
And I know our initial reaction is to say, “Yes! Of course!”
But do we really believe that?
Do we believe it strongly enough, and do we still feel that spark within us? Do we still feel that fire in our bones?
I get frustrated with the ministry of our church—and I’m speaking specifically about the ministry of our Disciples of Christ church, the whole denomination.
I love the Disciples, I was born and raised a Disciple, and I can’t imagine being anything but a Disciple. I love our openness, I love the central place of the Lord’s Supper, I love the prophetic voices of people like our General Minister Terri Hord Owens as well as people like William Barber. I love that we welcome a diversity of people with different opinions, and that we encourage conversation. I love that we engage both the heart and the mind. I love that we have the freedom to question. I love that we are committed to church unity.
But what I get frustrated with is the lack of passion. The lack of fire. I don’t see any sparks or feel any electricity.
And I wonder why.
Last week I had a wonderful few days at Loch Leven, directing mini camp. I love going to camp!
And yet, I get frustrated with our Disciples camping ministry. Not because of the program, or because of anything having to do with the camp itself; on the contrary.
I get frustrated because we don’t tell people about it. We don’t share how amazing camp is with those who don’t know or haven’t ever been to camp.
I’ve been part of several regions, and none of them was any good at telling people about camp.
There’s always this assumption that people know what camp is about, know what camp is like, and know why they (or their children) should attend camp.
We don’t announce the dates far enough in advance.
We don’t tell people why they should go to camp…
And we don’t sound very excited when we do talk about camp.
The email from the region goes out, and it basically says: “Okay. Here’s when camp is. Here is how much it costs. Here’s the registration deadline.”
If I was a parent who had never been to camp and had never sent my child to camp, there is NOTHING there that would make me think “Hey, I think it might be good if my kid went to camp…”
At camp, I’ve seen children and youth have such AMAZING experiences. For many, it is literally(!) THE. BEST. WEEK. OF. THE. ENTIRE. YEAR. This was true for the few days I was at mini camp last week.
And it’s not just because campers get to go swimming, or do crafts. In fact, we didn’t even go swimming last week; it was too cold.
It’s because of how they are affirmed and loved; it’s because of how they learn that God really does love them; it’s because they experience what Christian community is like, what life in the kingdom of God can be like.
And I know that camp has literally saved kids lives. I know because some older youth have told me as much; and if it’s true for them, then I’m sure it’s true for others as well. CAMP SAVES LIVES. Camp gives them the spiritual, mental, and emotional tools they need to deal with all the challenges and struggles of 21st century life.
And yes! There’s a fire in my bones when it comes to telling people about camp. But even I hold back. I don’t know why. Probably because I don’t want to be seen as a lunatic in a church where we’re so used to being quiet and reserved and non-emotional about things.
But it’s frustrating. Many congregations don’t even send kids to camp. Many haven’t sent kids to camp in years. Or ever. They don’t see it as a priority. They don’t see it as important.
Many pastors don’t even promote camp in their churches. They don’t realize that youth who go to camp not only grow in their personal spiritual lives, but they also come back more eager to be a part of their congregation, to become leaders in the church, and strengthen and enrich congregational life.
Maybe they have other ways to reach youth in their community, to let them know how much they are loved by God. But many of them don’t even have any youth at all. And I can’t help but wonder if it’s because that fire in their bones has gone out, or was never lit in the first place.
Lately, I’ve realized that this is an even bigger problem than I thought; it’s not limited to just camp. Because of my connections with other pastors in other congregations, I know so many churches that are doing such good ministry; so many churches where there is so much genuine love; so many churches where God has truly transformed lives.
But most of those churches are dwindling in size. They once were so vibrant. Now, they’re just trying to hold on.
This is not entirely their fault. We’ve experienced that, too. Americans just aren’t that interested in religion these days, and the pandemic further hurt many churches.
But I think part of it is also that we’ve lost the fire.
And it’s not just in regards to camp ministry that we’ve gone cold. There’s no fire in our bones for ministry in general. And I wonder why.
I mean, it’s not likely that we will endure the struggles and hardships Jeremiah had to endure.
Maybe it’s because, not too long ago, still within the lifetimes of many of us, churches didn’t need to share any word; the world around us knew it. People were religious, people went to church, and the pews were full. And so we got complacent.
Maybe it’s because we know it will require effort. We’ve become a society where everyone is so used to having everything come easy. But ministry is hard work. Sharing that fire we have within us is hard work. Maybe we’re not ready for that.
Or, maybe it’s because we’ve seen how some high-profile churches have abused their power, and done great damage to far too many people. People have been hurt and traumatized by the church in ways that, before I became aware of such things, I couldn’t even imagine.
Several documentaries now streaming online have shed light on these horrific abuses, and I don’t want to give them too much attention, but even if I hadn’t watched those documentaries and learned about those abuses in detail, almost all of us are at least somewhat familiar with the horrible things the church has done to people over the years.
And maybe that makes us embarrassed, or ashamed. And maybe that has quenched the fire within us.
But hear me out: there is nothing to be ashamed about in the gospel. Only in how some have misrepresented and perverted the gospel, and how some have misused the gospel to abuse and take advantage of people.
The gospel itself is love and life and freedom, and when we are true to that, it brings love and life and freedom to the world.
None of us would be here if we didn’t believe that. Many of us have experienced the transformation that comes from knowing we are loved, and knowing that there is a community praying for us when we are facing difficulty, and knowing that we are making a difference in the world through our ministry, through our acts of service in our community, through our hosting so many good, life-giving organizations here in our building, through the tithes and offerings we give which not only pay my salary and Barb’s salary and keep the utilities paid, but which also work to bring life and love to people all over the world.
This month, for example, a part of our offering goes to benefit Church World Service, the same organization that benefits from the CROP walk that several of us participated in last fall. Church World Service is an organization that only exists because of the contributions it receives from thousands of congregations like ours.
Do you know how Church World Service got started? After World War II, seventeen denominations got together to found Church World Service, to provide food, clothing, and medical supplies to war-torn Europe and Asia, and to welcome and support refugees here in the United States. And the work continues today; Church World Service continues to transform communities around the globe through just and sustainable responses to hunger, poverty, displacement and disaster.
This is work that is so good, and so needed. And we are a part of that. Isn’t that exciting? We’re a part of that! If it wasn’t for the thousands of congregations like ours, supporting Church World Service, this work wouldn’t be happening.
Why aren’t we more on fire about that? Why aren’t we letting the world know all that God is doing through our little church? Where is the fire in our bones?
Christian theologian and pastor Frederick Buechner once described vocation as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need.”
There are a lot of deep needs in the world. You don’t have to be passionate about all of them. But if you feel a passion within you about one of them, and you feel called to meet that need, then that is what you are called to do.
And when we see where we, together, find deep gladness, that is where the church is called.
And once we figure that out, we will discover the spark within us, and it will give us the energy we need, to do what God has called us to do, and be the people God has called us to be.
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