- But I Say To You...
Some scriptures, we really, really like. Right? Many of you probably have scriptures that are your favorites. Maybe you even have them written in calligraphy, framed, and mounted on your wall.
I’m guessing it’s not one of these verses that we just heard from the gospel of Matthew.
But as I think about this passage, the more meaningful and profound it becomes for me.
Jesus says: “You have heard it said, even in ancient times: ‘You shall not murder.’”
Nearly every society, every civilization, looks down upon murder, and has laws against murder, and severe consequences for those who do commit murder.
Then Jesus says: “But I say to you: Don’t even be angry with a brother or sister. Don’t insult a brother or sister. Don’t call them a fool, or any other derogatory, demeaning name.
“Instead, seek reconciliation.”
This is why many churches have a passing of the peace as part of their worship service… Jesus says, “Don’t come to the altar, don’t come to worship, if you haven’t sought reconciliation with your brother or sister. First, go and make peace, and then come to the altar.”
And that sounds good. But what does that have to do with murder? Or adultery? Or divorce? Or “looking with lust?”
Jesus knows that the worst things we do toward one another don’t just happen. They develop. They grow. They originate in tiny seeds of hate.
Like Yoda said, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” It all starts somewhere.
A person doesn’t just wake up and decide to murder someone. They do it because their fear, their anger, and their hate have been growing over time. Maybe some event or offense triggered these mental formations, and the person didn’t know how to handle them, didn’t know how to direct them toward something that might bring healing.
And every morning, they woke up with their mind stayed not on freedom, not on peace, not on love, but on their anger.
- Anger
I’ve spoken before about what I’ve learned when it comes to caring for our anger. First, you stop fighting against your anger.
I know: that sounds contradictory, that you learn to control your anger by not fighting against it.
But your anger is a part of you. Fighting against it is fighting against yourself. And fighting yourself is not a healthy way to manage things.
Instead, acknowledge your anger. Picture it like you would picture your infant child. Your child is crying. You wouldn’t yell at your child to stop crying, because you know
that yelling would only make the child more upset.
What you would do is you would gently hold your child in your arms. You would speak gently and soothingly to your child. You would show love and care to your child, and you’d let your child know that everything will be alright.
It’s the same with your anger. Hold your anger gently. Speak soothingly to your anger. And tell yourself that everything is going to be alright.
Only then can you begin to work through your anger, and find a way to peace and healing.
In this way, you can work on developing more desired mental formations. In this way, you can focus your intentions in a positive way… which is what Jesus is talking about.
Because an act like murder begins in the mind and in the heart long before it is actually carried out.
Our intentions matter. What goes on in our hearts and in our minds matters.
- Intentionality
Here’s an example for you: every week, I put a lot of planning into what goes on during worship. I put a lot of planning into what goes on in the sermon. There is a lot of intentionality behind it.
And there is a lot of intentionality behind what others do in worship. Every week, Barb puts a lot of intention into the music, and so does the praise team on the Sundays they play. And Gretchen puts a lot of intention into what she does, the power point, and the printed materials.
And I know there is a lot of intentionality in Lillian’s wonderful Black History Presentation that she shared with us.
But - for me - after worship is a whole different story.
For example, last Sunday, after worship I went home, and I sat down on my bed until I decided what I was going to do next.
And I just sat there, leaning back on the pillows. I didn’t have a plan, so I just sat there.
Now, there are a lot of things I could have done after worship last Sunday. I could have worked in the yard. I could have gone on a bike ride. I could have read, I could have made myself lunch, I could have just taken a nap.
Any of those options would have been better than doing nothing.
But I hadn’t put it into my mind ahead of time what I was going to do. I hadn’t set my intentions.
And what a waste of time those few hours after worship last week turned out to be.
Before you laugh too hard or judge me too harshly, let me turn things around.
I know you know how important it is to be on time for worship. And I know you want to be on time for worship. But many of you have not set your intentions to be here on time on Sunday mornings.
I once heard someone say that we need to set our intentions on Sunday worship before we go to bed on Saturday night… just start setting our mind on worship the night before.
One way to do that is to pick out the clothes we are going to wear the night before, and set them out.
I often do that during the week. When I’m looking for a substitute teaching job, sometimes that job doesn’t appear until the same day it’s needed. A teacher wakes up sick, and needs a sub.
The night before, if I know I want to teach the next day, I’ll set out clothes to wear as if I already had a job. Everything will be ready. So then, while I’m eating breakfast, if a job opportunity comes up, I’m inclined to say yes.
However, if the night before I’ve made no such plans and have set no such intentions, and I’m eating breakfast in my sweatpants and the t-shirt I slept in, I’m much more likely to say no to any teaching opportunity that comes up.
Because I hadn’t set my intentions. I hadn’t prepared my mind to say yes to the opportunity.
Likewise, if my goal is to wake up and exercise, then I might set out my clothes for exercising the night before.
And if I want to eat healthy, I need to set those intentions not when hunger arises, but when I make my shopping list. Because at home, if I’m hungry, and I go to the cupboard and all that’s there is junk food… guess what I’m going to eat?
- Set Your Mind
How can you set your mind so that you will arrive on time for worship?
You know the reasons to be on time.
You know that it’s disrespectful to our musicians and our praise band to show up late. They work hard, they practice hard, they dedicate many hours of preparation...yet when worship starts at 10:15, there are only a handful of people present.
You know that if you’re late, you miss out on the passing of the peace, which I’ve already talked about.
And you know that, as members of Bixby Knolls Christian Church, one aspect of ministry that we all share in is making our church a hospitable and welcoming place for visitors. But if no one is here to greet and welcome visitors when they arrive, then we have failed in that responsibility, and visitors quickly feel that they’ve made a mistake, choosing to worship here.
In fact, for that reason, it would be ideal if every member was here fifteen minutes early - by 10:00 - to help make any visitors we have feel welcome.
So ask yourself: how can I start getting my mind and my heart set for worship?
You can start setting those intentions right now, for next week. And be sure to reinforce those intentions on Saturday night.
Don’t wait until Sunday morning to focus your energy into being on time, because by then it will already be too late.
If you want to avoid murdering someone (I know, that’s quite a leap, but I’m getting back to the scripture), you need to nurture your mind and learn how to deal with your emotions long before passion and rage overtake you. You need to train your mind, and practice the ways of love, compassion, peace, and reconciliation.
If you want to live healthy, you need to set your intentions the night before you want to exercise, and set your intentions long before you open the cupboard to grab something to eat.
If you want to show up for worship on time, you need to start mentally shaping your Sunday morning before you go to bed on Saturday night.
This, I think, is the point of Jesus’ teachings in this passage from Matthew.
- Prayer
Related to all this is the idea of mindful consumption. We know that the health of our bodies depends in large part on the food we eat. But it is also true that the health of our minds depends on the things our minds consume.
And just as chips and soda are junk food for the body, too much TV and social media and gaming are junk food for the mind. Especially if the TV and social media we watch are filled with gossip, hearsay, violence, or play into our fears and anxieties. Studies show that too much TV or too much social media use - too much screen time, really - leads to depression and anxiety.
One antidote to this, I think, is time spent in prayer.
Prayer helps us focus our minds. Prayer helps us train our minds. Prayer helps shape our thoughts.
When I lead prayers here in worship, I do a lot of talking, but when I pray by myself, I mostly just listen. And maybe I offer whatever anxieties I’m feeling up to God, or whatever anger has built up within me, and I ask God to help shape my mind and my intentions toward something more positive.
This is not the only component that leads to a healthy mind, but for me, it is an important one.
And I’ve learned not to overcomplicate my prayers. As I said a few weeks ago, sometimes my prayers involve me seeking a word from God - just one word - and then focusing on that one word.
And it helps.
It helps me bring my own way of thinking closer to the things I think God would like me to think about. And that thinking becomes intention, and those intentions become actions.
Perhaps all this is an oversimplification of what Jesus is saying in this passage from Matthew, this segment of his Sermon on the Mount. A lot more could be said.
But I do think all this is a part of what he is saying here. Watch your mind.
Set your intentions.
Focus and meditate on what is good, what is loving, what is peaceful…
and you will be well on your way to living the life God desires for you, that holy way of living, that life of the ages that is both now and forever.
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