Sunday, April 12, 2015

Breathe of Forgiveness (John 20:19-23)

“Holding on to anger or resentment is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.”
You may have heard that before. The quote has been attributed to Buddha, Nelson Mandela, Anne Lamott, and Carrie Fisher. Whoever said it first, there does seem to be some truth in it.
And Jesus, I think, knew that truth.
When Jesus was arrested and executed, his disciples fled. They denied ever knowing him. They were afraid that their association with him would cost them their own lives.
Several days later, they were still hiding, in a locked room, living in fear.
Jesus was dead. Rome did not tolerate revolutionaries and rabble-rousers.  Rome always came down hard on such movements. There are records of as many as 2,000 people being crucified at one time. Would the disciples be next?
Fortunately, the movement Jesus led was a nonviolent movement. Mass crucifixions were for armed rebellions. For non-violent uprisings, Rome only went after the leader.
Usually.
That may have provided some comfort to the disciples. But not enough to unlock the doors, or walk freely in the streets.
It was evening. It was getting dark. The doors were locked. Then all of a sudden, Jesus appeared. Despite the locked doors. Despite the fact that he was dead. He appeared in their midst.
Do you think maybe their fear underwent a sudden seismic shift? Do you think maybe, in that instant, they went from fear of Rome to fear of this supernatural being who they had deserted and denied?
Rome was out there, but right here, in their midst, was a man who had just come back from the dead! What’s more, they had turned their backs on him; how would he respond to that?
Have you ever had anyone turn their back on you? Throw you under the bus? Stab you in the back?
What was your reaction?
Jesus spoke. He said: “Peace be with you.”
Jesus showed them his hands and his side, the places where his body had been pierced as he was crucified.
Then he said it again: “Peace be with you.”
There was no anger in his voice. No resentment. No condemnation or judgment. Only forgiveness and love.
How liberating was that love!
How life-giving was that forgiveness!
It made possible what came next. Jesus said, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you…” The Father had sent Jesus to love, to forgive, to open the way to life and wholeness. The disciples were now called to do the same.
Then Jesus breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” The word for spirit is the same as the word for breath. “Receive the holy breath of God.”
Forgiveness comes as a breath of fresh air. In that room, with the doors locked, with fear all around, I doubt the disciples were breathing much. Just short little tense breaths.
Now, for the first time, they could breathe… freely… and deeply……..
“As the Father has sent me, so I send you. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them.”
Do you think it was easy for the disciples to show the same love and forgiveness that Jesus showed them?
If I were a disciple in that locked room, I imagine I would be a little too eager to say yes… “Yes, Jesus, I’ll forgive. I’ll forgive just like you forgave. Who should I start with?”
And perhaps Jesus would say, “How about the family that disowned you when you chose to follow me? How about the religious leaders who want to kick you out of the church? How about the Romans who crucified me, the Romans from whom you are, at this very moment, hiding in fear?
“Start by forgiving them.”
And I’d respond, “Oh. I didn’t realize you wanted me to forgive them. But they haven’t asked for forgiveness. They don’t deserve forgiveness. Can’t I just hold on to my anger toward them a little longer?
“Besides, they probably won’t accept my forgiveness. They won’t even let me get close enough to them to express forgiveness…it won’t do them any good.”
And maybe Jesus would respond, “Perhaps not. But it will make all the difference for you.
I’m reminded of the story of Jacob and Esau. I probably should say, “the story of Esau and Jacob,” since it would be more proper to place the name of the oldest born first; but, you probably know, Jacob stole from his brother the rights of the first-born son.
It happened like this. Esau and Jacob had grown up; Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, living in tents.
Esau was his father’s favorite, but Jacob was his mother’s favorite.
Already, it sounds like an episode of the TV show Empire, doesn’t it?
One day when Jacob was cooking a stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was starving. Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that, I’m starving!”
But Jacob said, “First, sell me your birthright.”
And because Esau was so hungry, he did.
Later, when their father Isaac was old and near death, he said to Esau, “My son, my death is near. Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field, and hunt game for me. Then prepare for me a delicious meal, and bring it to me, so I may bless you before I die.”
Rebekah, their mother, heard this. As soon as Esau went to the field, she said to Jacob, “Quick! Get two young goats and bring them to me, and I’ll make a delicious meal that you can take to your father. He’s practically blind, he won’t know it’s you, and you will get the blessing.”
But Jacob said, “My brother Esau is a hairy man, but my skin is smooth. What if my father hugs me and feels my arms, realizes what’s happening, and gives me a curse instead of a blessing?”
His mother said, “Don’t worry about it! The curse will be on me. But just to be safe, we’ll cover your arms with the goat skins, and that will be enough to fool your father.”
So Jacob went to Isaac and said, “I’m here, Father!”
Isaac said, “Who are you?”
Jacob said, “I’m Esau!”
Jacob presented to his father the meal his mother had prepared. His father Isaac asked, “How did you do this so quickly?”
Jacob replied, “God helped me.”
Isaac said, “Let me feel you, so I know it’s really Esau.”
Jacob went up to his father Isaac, who felt him (or, to be more precise, felt the goat skins), and said, “Huh. You sound like Jacob, but feel like Esau. Are you really Esau?”
Jacob replied, “Yes, I am.”
And Isaac gave him the blessing.
As soon as Isaac finished, Jacob left, and Esau arrived, and presented his meal to his father. Isaac was both confused and frightened, and said, “Who are you?”
Esau answered, “I am Esau, your firstborn son.”
Isaac then said, “Who was it that was just here? I gave him your blessing!”
And Esau, realizing what had happened, cried out, “Nooooo! Bless ME, Father!”
Isaac said, “It’s too late! I’ve already given your blessing away.”
And Esau cried out, “Nooooo!”
And Esau was filled with anger, resentment and hatred, and began plotting revenge against his brother.
Well, Jacob ran away. He ran away. Got married. Twice. Had lots of kids. Became the head of a huge household. Met an angel. Wrestled with God… For the sake of time, all this takes place during a musical montage that spans many years. Feel free to hum “Hakuna Matata” if you like… And then read the book of Genesis later for all the details.
Now, we arrive at the day when Jacob decides he has avoided his brother Esau long enough. Many years have gone by.
And yet, Jacob is afraid.
Like Jacob, Esau has become the head of a large household. Each household was an entire community, really; almost like a mini-nation or tribe. If Esau still harbored his anger and resentment, the result would be even bigger than the feud between my ancestors the Hatfields and the McCoy family.
It would be war.
Jacob sent messengers bearing gifts to his brother Esau. He divided his household in half, figuring that if Esau attacked one half, at least the other would be able to get away and survive. Jacob also prayed to God.
Finally, after days of preparation, Jacob looked up and saw his brother Esau arriving with four hundred men. His heart pounding in his ears, Jacob walked forward, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.
But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and together they wept. There was no anger in Esau’s voice. No resentment. No condemnation or judgment. Only forgiveness and love.
How liberating was that love! How life-giving was that forgiveness!
Jacob took a breath…….
Esau looked and saw all those who were with Jacob, especially the women and children. “Who are they?” he asked.
Jacob said, “These are my children.” Then all the maids and the children and Jacob’s wives bowed down, and Jacob offered gifts, and said to his brother, “Seeing your face like this is like seeing the face of God.”
The Bible doesn’t tell when it was that Esau decided to forgive his brother Jacob. How did it happen? What happened to all of Esau’s anger and hatred?
I don’t know. But it seems likely that, at some point, Esau grew tired of holding on to anger and resentment. He was tired of drinking the poison, and waiting for his enemy to die.
Perhaps there was a time when his anger and resentment were making things unpleasant for his own household, his own family, and finally he realized that, to have peace in his own life, he just needed to let it go.
After his crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus came speaking of peace… and forgiveness. It seems that, to find peace, you must forgive.
Is there someone who has hurt you? Someone you love? Someone who just thinking of them gets you angry?
Take a deep breath……
Breathe in the Spirit, the Holy Breath of God……
Speak softly to your anger. Speak gently, kindly…
If you want to show forgiveness and love to someone else, you have to start by showing forgiveness and love to yourself.
Speak kindly to yourself. Take care of your anger. Ask God to help you transform that anger into compassion, forgiveness, and love.
And hear these words of Christ:
Peace be with you.
Peace be with you.


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