Questioning Faith (John 20:19-31)

The disciples were gathered together.  They were afraid.  All the doors were locked. 

They had dedicated their lives to Jesus of Nazareth, a man who they thought would be a great leader, possibly (somehow) become even greater than Caesar. 

But the power of Caesar had demonstrated its unconquerable might once again, as the Romans had killed Jesus. 

Perhaps they would go after Jesus’ followers next.

The temple authorities were no help.  In fact, worried that the Roman military machine might come after them, finding them guilty by association or complacency, the temple authorities often collaborated with Rome.  Indeed, the scripture says that the disciples were afraid of the Jews, although more specifically, it was the temple authorities who they were afraid of, those who would be willing to turn over their own to Rome in order to keep Rome from coming after them. 

You see, they, too, were afraid of Rome.

In fact, it seems that there had been plenty of fear to go around.  Jesus was born, and Herod – and all Jerusalem – was afraid.  The shepherds in the field were afraid. 

Jesus walks on water.  He calls Peter out to join him, but Peter becomes afraid, and begins to sink.

How many times does a messenger from God say, “Fear not!”  I’ll let you read through your Bible and count how many times it happens.  It’s a lot.

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There was an empty tomb.  Mary Magdalene saw it.  Two of the other disciples saw it.  But they were still afraid.

So they are in a house, with the doors locked.  All the disciples, except for Thomas, who is missing.  The doors are locked, and no one can get in or out.

And suddenly, Jesus himself appears in their midst.

How did he get there?  The scripture just says, “All the doors were locked, and Jesus entered and stood among them.”

But how?

A week later, when Thomas was there with the others, they were again in the house with the doors locked.  A week later, and they were still afraid. 

And the scripture says Jesus came through the locked doors, and stood among them.

How did he do that?

There is definitely some element of mystery here.  Some say that the resurrection is a bodily resurrection.  When Jesus shows Thomas his wounds, and invites Thomas to touch the marks in his hands and the wound on his side, that suggests a bodily presence, that the actual body of Jesus was a part of the resurrection.

But how, then, did he pass through the walls and locked doors?

A book I read recently about the apostle Paul mentioned how Paul’s take on the resurrection is that it was more spiritual than bodily.  And Paul, keep in mind, wrote his letters many years before the gospels were written.  And some of the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus in the gospels do suggest that the resurrection was more spiritual than bodily.  Jesus appears and disappears.  He appears among those who were close to him, but they do not recognize him. 

One could read the Bible and find scriptures that support the idea of a bodily resurrection.  One could also read the Bible and find other scriptures that support the idea that the resurrection is a spiritual event.  And for many, this contradiction is a problem, a stumbling block.  It leads to questions.  Doubts.  And fear.

The fear is that the questions and doubts will weaken or destroy our faith; that faith cannot exist if there are too many unanswered questions.  Unfortunately, that is how the Christian faith is sometimes taught, that it’s all about believing, with certainty, certain “facts.”  Lengthy statements of faith or affirmations or creeds are developed, and if you don’t agree with every point on that statement of faith, then your faith isn’t good enough, and you aren’t a good follower of Jesus.

That’s a faith based on affirmation of facts.  That’s a faith that leaves no room for doubts or questions.  And if I were told that this is the only type of faith possible, then I would not be able to call myself a man of faith.  Because I have lots of questions.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this to you before, that many years ago, at a Disciples camp in northern California, a high school student said to me, “I really don’t think I believe in God.  I have too many questions about God, and about all the stuff that goes on in the world, to believe.”

I listened, and he kept talking.  He said that the reason he goes to church camp is because it’s the one place in the world where he feels like he belongs, where he’s accepted for who he is; the one place where he can truly be himself among friends.

I was impressed by this young man’s openness and honesty, and so was another camper who was present.  “Wow,” this other camper said; “…and you’re telling all this to a pastor!”

Well, the first kid didn’t realize I was a pastor.  He only knew me as a camp counselor.  “If I had known you were a pastor,” he said, “I wouldn’t have said all that.”

I said, “Why not?  You’re being honest.  And besides, I’ve asked many of the same questions as you.  Many of the people we read about in scripture ask questions of God, directly; challenging, even accusatory questions.  I think a faith that asks questions is a lot more mature than one that insists it’s all about having the right answers.”

I don’t know exactly how the resurrection took place.  I wonder, sometimes… Sometimes I wonder what the word resurrection really means.

But I don’t see that as a threat to my faith.  I think I have grown beyond the point where such questions had to be answered in order for faith to be real.

I see this in Thomas.  Thomas is told that Jesus was alive, that Jesus had appeared to the other disciples, that he somehow came into their midst despite all the doors being locked. 

When he was told this – yeah, Thomas had some questions.  Sure, Thomas had some doubts. 

How did Jesus pass through the locked doors?  How is it that he is even alive?  How did that happen? 

Until Thomas had the answers to those questions, he found it hard to believe.

Then, a week later – when Thomas was present – Jesus appeared again. 

And Jesus said, “Here, Thomas … here are the answers to your questions.  Take your finger and examine my hands, and find the answers you seek.  Take your hand and stick it in my side.  Don’t let your questions keep you from believing.”

The funny thing is, Thomas never did what Jesus said.  The gospel does not say that Thomas ever touched Jesus’s hands or his side.  Earlier, Thomas had said that he would not believe until he could touch Jesus’s wounds, so that his questions could be answered and his doubts assuaged. 

But now, when Jesus invited him to do just that, so that his questions could be answered, all Thomas did was proclaim, “My Lord!  My God!”

It seems that the questions Thomas had, about how Jesus had come back to life, about how he was able to pass through walls and locked doors, no longer mattered when it came to believing.

Maybe in that moment, when the resurrected Jesus stood there before him, Thomas remembered when Jesus first called him to be a disciple.  It’s doubtful that Thomas knew then Jesus’s whole plan to change the world.  Some of the questions were left unanswered.  And yet Thomas knew that what Jesus stood for was real and true and good; and so Thomas followed.

And maybe in that moment, when the resurrected Jesus stood there before him, Thomas remembered when Jesus first announced his intention to go to Jerusalem.  Then, it was the other disciples who had questions and doubts.  Jerusalem was a dangerous place for Jesus; how would Jesus be able to continue his mission in such a dangerous place?

But it was Thomas who said, “If Jesus is going to Jerusalem, then let us go with him.  And if Jesus ends up dying in Jerusalem, let us go and die with him.”  In that case, Thomas demonstrated tremendous faith – without knowing all the answers.

So when the resurrected Jesus appeared before him, Thomas must have realized that the answers weren’t necessary.  The “how” of Jesus’ resurrection was not the important thing.  The important thing was that love and life had somehow triumphed over death.

The questions are fascinating.  Theologians and Bible scholars love talking about them.  In case you haven’t noticed, I love talking about them.

But they don’t all have to be answered in order for belief to take place.

Why do we think that faith requires certainty?  It’s science that demands certainty, not faith. 

What faith requires is a commitment to following the way of Jesus.  Doing the things he taught.  Living as he taught.  Working to bring new life to others, working to bring wholeness to a fragmented world.

This is important.  The church is dying.  Spirituality isn’t dying, just the church.  Because a lot of people are tired of quibbling over statements of faith.  A lot of people are tired of having to pretend that they have it all figured out.  A lot of people are tired of having to pretend that they have all the answers, or that they agree with all the answers that have been given to them.

A lot of people just want to follow Jesus.  Love Jesus.  Love other people, as Jesus taught. 

Which is what it really means to believe, to have faith.

And a lot of people want their questions to be taken seriously, even if that means the quest for answers is never-ending.

When Jesus invites you to believe, he isn’t telling you to ignore your questions.  He isn’t telling you to stop thinking. 

When you have questions or doubts, don’t try to pretend that you don’t, just in order to appear to others that you’ve got it all figured out.    Instead, honor the questions and the doubts.  They are a part of you, and they show that you have a mind that likes to think deeply about things.  Care for those questions and doubts.  They are a gift from God.  They are holy. 

Jesus never said, “Affirm this statement of faith in remembrance of me.”  He didn’t say, “Stop asking questions in remembrance of me.” 

What Jesus said was, “Do this in remembrance of me.”  Celebrate the Lord’s Supper, inviting one another to the table, in remembrance of me.

What Jesus said was, “Love one another, as I have loved you.  Be a servant to others, as I have been a servant to you.”

As long as you love God and love your neighbor, your faith is good.  You are on the right path.  And as you walk that path, your questions will guide you.